Why this book?

This is the 5th – May – book from My Year of Reading 2019 list.

In that post I was specific on the reasons for reading this book, stating the following:

A book specifically recommended to me by Rachel Happe (a global authority on communities & Enterprise Social Networks) when I asked her for a book recommendation on this subject for this list
I want to learn more formal info about communities as this may be next for my work life.

I am also interested in the whole subject of communities as I lead and / or am a member of multiple physical and virtual communities in a majority of the various roles in my life.

More info in the invite for people to read along with me:
http://srjf.blogspot.com/2019/05/invitation-to-read-and-apply-community.html

My reading of the book

I read each chapter making notes as I read. I posted my notes chapter by chapter in the Workplace by Facebook community of learners that I facilitate. I then posted the full set of notes as this blog post.

My overall assessment and response to the book

This book was not fully as I expected. I enjoyed it and was challenged in my current thinking throughout.

There was much more about neighbourhood communities than I was expecting.

There were lots of practical techniques and recommendations for building communities.

Learning points:-

convert isolation by connecting with and caring for the whole community
talk about possibilities of community not problems of community
bring people together who do not usually converse together on specific subjects
create a future distinct from the past
social capital is created one room at a time
who do we want in the room and what is our new conversation
all transformation occurs through language
engage 1:1 and constantly focus on the well-being of the whole
we have what we need for the alternative future
the small group is the unit of transformation & container for experiencing belonging
new context comprises possibility, generosity & gifts and NOT fear, mistakes, problem solving
communities are human systems given form by conversations that build relatedness that most occur via associational life where citizens are unpaid & show up by choice NOT in large systems where pros are paid & show up by contractual agreement
future hinges on accountability that citizens choose & their willingness to connect with each other round promises they make to each other
citizens have capacity to own / exercise power rather than defer or delegate it to others
we reclaim our citizenship when we invert what is cause and what is effect
citizens create leaders, children create parents, audience creates the performance
inversion creates conditions in which we can shift from a place of fear/fault to one of gifts, generosity and commitment
shift from law/oversight to social capital/ chosen accountability, from retributive justice to restorative justice – from corporation/systems as central to associational life as central
shift from focus on leaders to focus on citizens – from problems to possibility
leadership that engages citizens is a capacity that all people have – infinitely/ universally available
transformation occurs when leaders focus on structure of how we gather and context of gatherings
leadership is convening – shift context in which people gather, name the debate through powerful qs, listen rather than advocate, defend or provide answers
each gathering needs to be an example of the future we want to create
large-scale transformation occurs when enough small groups shift in harmony towards the larger change
small groups have most leverage when they meet as part of a larger gathering
small group produces power when diversity of thinking and dissent are given space, commitments made without barter, gifts of each person & our community are acknowledged and valued
questions are more transforming than answers when we word the questions correctly
trad convos to explain, study, analyse, define tools & express desire to change others are interesting but not powerful
questions open the door to the future & are more powerful than answers – they demand engagement – and engagement in right qs is what creates accountability
how we frame qs is decisive – need to be ambiguous, personal, stressful
introduce qs by defining what is different / unique about this convo
inoculate people against advice/help – advice replaced by curiosity
invite people who are not used to being together
invitation: name the possibility, specify what is required if they attend, make it personal, clear about refusal carries no cost
5 convos for structuring belonging: possibility, ownership, dissent, commitment, gifts
create convos in ascending order of difficulty
3 elements to a q: distinction in the q, warning against advice/help and for curiosity, the q itself stated precisely
the book defines each convo and the qs asked in each one
the heart of the 6 conversations: create a sense of belonging with others & a sense of accountability for oneself & care for the commons
important thing about the qs is that they name the agenda that creates space for alternative future – the power is in the asking not the answers
physical space more decisive in creating community than we realise
most meeting spaces designed for control, negotiation, persuasion
we always have a choice about how we rearrange and occupy whatever room we are handed
community built when we are in circles, with windows, walls with signs of life, when all voices can be heard/amplified equally, when we are all on one level, sat on chairs on wheels that swivel
when designing new space:-

reception areas that tell us we are in the right place & wlecome
hallways wide enough for intimate seating & casual contact
eating spaces that refresh us & encourage relatedness
rooms designed with nature, art, conviviality and citizen-to-citizen interaction in mind
large community spaces that have qualities of communal intimacy

design process itself needs to be example of the future we are intending to create
authentic citizen and employee engagement is as important as good design expertise

Role models and resources can be found @ https://www.abundantcommunity.com.

Welcome, The Second Edition

My research and application notes from the book

This covers the 1st 2 intro sections of the book.

A solid intro to the book with the author describing the foundations for the book and why he wrote it. A rallying cry!

It will be interesting to see what readers make of the book who are reading it mainly for enterprise social network-type communities. That is one of the reasons why I am reading the book but I have wider communities in mind as well.

Particularly interested reading the author’s reasons for writing the 2nd edition.

Definition: “well-being”:
the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy.

The start of the book bears a marked similarity of subject with Brene Brown’s “Braving The Wilderness” book.

The author majors on isolation as being an issue to address. The various communities that I am a part of means that I rarely feel completely isolated. I am possibly in better shape than most on this. This applies to me both physically and virtually.

The great quote on structure comes from this The Structurist article:
https://www.usask.ca/structurist/whatsinaname.html

Christopher Alexander’s Timeless Way of Building gave the author the idea for how to structure his book. See the Google Books entry:
http://tinyurl.com/yxcm89vv

Definition: isolated:-

far away from other places, buildings, or people; remote.
having minimal contact or little in common with others.
single; exceptional.

Book Club Questions

Welcome

Why do you want to read this book?
A: “Community” is a subject I want to explore more formally with some expert input. I am aware of community as a subject in a church context and am increasingly drawn to doing real work in enterprise social networks (aka collaboration platforms) in communities. Also interested in people learning in online communities.
Why do you want to read this book with others in this group?
A: Love reading books with other people to get different perspectives on the same content and to discuss content with people e.g. how they are applying what they are learning in their context.
What is your specific interest in “community”?
How community relates to teams and groups. How we can rapidly get to people being in community. An action plan for doing this repeatedly. Aware that it is becoming a hot topic in business, management and leadership literature.
“Whatever it is you care about, to make the difference that you seek requires a group of people to learn to trust each other and choose to cooperate for a larger purpose.”
What thoughts did you have as you read these words at the end of the Welcome section of the book?
I have done a number of webinars with Workplace by Facebook. I am starting to understand the various groups that could use enterprise social networks and potentially eliminate email as we do that with our customers and suppliers. Outside of work, some people of fearful of community as they want to remain private. Interested in how we can rapidly build trust even with such fearful people.

The Second Edition

To what extent do you feel isolated in any context and how does that make you feel?
Occasionally feel isolated at work as I am the only person with the specific skillset that I have so there is hardly any opportunity to share best practice etc with others around me. This is mainly an issue when I want to share challenges with others. I am aware that we are all uniquely gifted with our specific personalities and skillsets and in some cases people do not “get” us. It is a joy when I find people who “get” me and is a reminder that I am not going mad!!
Give your view of how isolated you view other people as.
As the member of a church leadership team we do a number of things for and with our local community. I am aware that e.g. our lunch club for the elderly will be the only time in a week when lots of people will have any form of interaction with another human being. Others are even more isolated as they cannot leave their homes for health reasons.
The author refers to restoring community implying that it was once there. To what extent is that true of any communities you are looking to work with?
In some cases, I am seeking to deepen and widen pre-existing communities. In other cases, there are project teams but there is not a community in the sense we are talking about here. I am a big fan of collaboration tools (aka ESNs) assisting in creating communities for the first time in many environments.
To what extent is your organisation or group of people you are working with aware of the need for community?
At work this is minimal. I am looking to work at that! There is a view that this is not real work and is effectively play time. I remain of the view that an ESN and project etc communities would transform how we deliver projects and new solutions to our clients.
Where do you see interest increasing in “community”?
Everywhere I look in the business press and literature!
What does belonging mean to you?
Being a part of a group where I can be the real me and be accepted for who I really am and not wear masks of any sort. Over the years I have got significantly better at being the same person in each area of my life and not being a different person at home, work, church, etc.
Where do you feel like you should belong but you do not? What needs to happen for that to be addressed?
I would love to have more people like me at work to bounce ideas off etc. Likewise, I would love lots of the teams that I am a part of to be more efficient and effective.

My notes from the book

“The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.”
Sigmund Freud

book to support those who care for the well-being of their community

for anyone who wants to be part of creating an org, neighbourhood, city or country that works for all and who has the energy to create such a place

author is one of those people – hates seeing decay or challenging places to bring up kids

he cannot ignore that the world does not work for all or indeed most

each of us is participating in creating this world – therefore we all have the power to heal our world

not about guilt but about accountability

citizens are our best shot at making a difference

To act on whatever our intentions might be to make the world better requires something more than individual action. It requires, in almost every case, people who may have little connection with each other, or who may even be on opposite sides of a question, to decide to come together for some common good.

book is about the need and methodology to make this happen simply and quickly

various examples where author has used this content – the need for the experience of community, the collective capacity of citizens to make a difference, has only intensified

even with all the means available to connect with each other, we live and function in ways that keep us isolated

without new ways to come together isolation will persist

to make the difference that you seek requires a group of people to learn to trust each other and choose to co-operate for a larger purpose

The Second Edition

My notes from the book

reasons for this edition:-

can more clearly express the ideas after 9 years of putting them into practice in Cincinatti
there is growing interest in building community in the world across all sectors
author’s frustration / pain in seeing what is happening in the world – community building seems to be an idea whose time has come

in midst of growing awareness of & innovation in thinking about the need to build community, the dominant practices for how to engage people, civically & organisationally, remain essentially unchanged - not helpful!

re conferences and Powerpoint slide decks, presenting data in this way is a weak substitute for learning & education

eg poverty, there must be relatedness & trust where both sides give & receive – building this kind of community is central to a strategy to create conditions where real transformation occurs

emphases in this edition:-

isolation is on the rise

the book is about the reconciliation or restoration of the experience of community
to restore our connectedness we need to see clearly the isolation we are a part of and not be taken in by the myth of communal progress

interest & practice in restoring community are increasing
institutional awareness of the need for community is growing

restoring community is increasingly seen as a productive strategy to address business & civic concerns

book also written to tell untold stories of social pioneers

what works in the world, as opposed to what is failing in the world, still gets treated as a human interest story

building community is a powerful strategy for creating resilient orgs, a healthier planet & safer streets

challenge is that building community seems too simple

approach to this edition:-

more examples of how a shift to community building may be more powerful than trad problem solving & programs
showing how really simple building community can be, once we decide it is essential
reflective final section to remind reader of the key concepts, why these ideas are so elusive in our lives & think about what they might mean when applied in our lives

long list of role models now @ https://www.abundantcommunity.com/

The importance of belonging

increased the emphasis on the major point of the book - the strong cultural imperative of individualism and the belief that science and technology will solve the problems of climate, corporate productivity, school performance, customer satisfaction, and immortality will only increase the violence, poverty, and unnecessary suffering that we are confronted with every day. Community and its structure of belonging does something about this.

meanings of belong:-

to be related to and part of something

membership
experience of being at home in broadest sense of the phrase
best created when join with other people to produce something that makes a place better
the opposite of I must do it on my own
opposite is to feel isolated and always and all ways on the margin, an outsider
we want to increase the amount of belonging or relatedness in the world

being an owner, something belongs to me

to belong to a community is to act as a creator & co-owner of that community
what I consider mine I will build and nurture
challenge is to seek a wider sense of emotional & communal ownership
a sense of ownership and accountability in relationships and what people control

can also be thought of as a longing to be – where being is our capacity to find our deeper purpose in all we do

structure in book title is deliberate – belonging does not have to be left to chance or be dependent on the welcome of others

quote: “The word structure means to build, to construct, to form, as well as the organization or morphology of the elements involved in the process. It can be seen as the embodiment of creation . . . a quest not only for form but also for purpose, direction and continuity.”
(from “The Structurist”)

quote refers to art but can be applied to community

the book provides structural ways to create the experience of belonging in places where people come to be together socially but especially in places where people come together to get something done, the gatherings where there are reflections and decisions made about the kind of future we want

structure is good word as it does not mean style re a leader’s qualities

the actions in this book can be taken by someone with certain style or none – including introverts

structure of the book (taken from Christopher Alexander’s Timeless Way of Building):-

each chapter has summary at start of each chapter
main points summarised at end of the book

Part 1: The Fabric of Community
Chapter 1: Insights Into Transformation

The graphic in the Workplace post header – The Meeting Canoe – is taken from a video presentation “Lets Stop Meeting Like This” by Dick and Emily Axelrod:
https://youtu.be/ueP8n-IR45A

My research and application notes from the book

I am experimenting with creating a set of questions for me and others to answer while we read this book. So this section is likely to be light compared to the Q&A section depending on the nature of the content in specific subjects.

I looked up this book: Robert D. Putnam - Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community and found this video of the author being interviewed - https://youtu.be/2ZHZc-kcyQQ.

I was particularly taken with “Future Search” as I read this chapter and rapidly located this pdf: “Three Perspectives on Future Search: Meeting Design, Theory of Facilitating, Global Change Strategy”; Marvin Weisbord and Sandra Janoff, Ph.D., Co-Directors, Future Search Network:-
file:///C:/Users/simonf/Downloads/Future%20Search%20Perspectives.pdf.

.. and “Transforming Whole Systems, Sandra Janoff, Dir. Future Search Network, at COS Conference 2017” (video):
https://youtu.be/p34MaVuWquI

Book Club Questions

Q1: This chapter contains several insights into transformation. For each section in the chapter, what did you strongly agree with, strongly disagree with, were surprised about, challenged about or wanted to explore further.

A1: Agree – McKnight - gifts reminded me of Marcus Buckingham’s work on strengths. Often wondered why in the UK the health service appears to do minimal work on prevention and not cure. Cf organisations’ focus on short-termism. Definitely seen the power of volunteers in our church work as well as online learning with what people are prepared to do for each other.

Agree - Erhard - Love the content on “possibility”. Reminded of one leader’s challenge to all leaders to paint a preferred future by using the word “imagine” a lot and the power of those words. Wondering what specific parts of my story are holding me back.

Agree – Putnam – love the bit about social networks benefit the participants as well as the bystanders (I still am not a fan of “lurkers”!). Also reminded of Adam Grant’s “givers” not “takers or “matchers”. Strong challenge for communities to represent the diversity of its members and being outward looking (“bridging social capital”).

Agree – Alexander – I do make the effort in each step of a process of group formation etc e.g. room layout not just my input. Defo a fan of praising small things.

Agree – Koestenbaum - a big fan of the power of questions and how they can open up situations for change. One of my strengths. Aware that this frustrates some who just want quick answers and are not prepared to do the work to get answers when there are no immediate instant answers.

Agree – Future Search – balance of expert input and discussion as key to moving forward i.e. defo not just one or the other.

Agree – Conference Model – I do try to include real life examples, considerations etc when planning things including those issues causing pain (as well as things providing opportunities.

Agree – The Power of their Thinking – Defo aware that people better own something if they have had input to what is being proposed. Experienced first-hand the power of the wisdom of strangers and the power of diversity in the WOL circles that I have been a part of.

Challenge – McKnight – is it really as easy as bringing people’s gifts into the centre. Is it possible to truly care when being paid as a professional … reminded that there are people who do not care who are not paid professionals!

Challenge - Erhard – reminded of the power of words and how we word/say things. I am learning to be more of a storyteller. One of my challenges is remembering them all. Not sure what he makes of history. Some are not interested in how we got here especially if they were not “here” “then”. Reminder that we all have agency and we are not victims unless we choose to be. The power of deciding to move on now and leave a troubled past. Is this really possible instantaneously? Reminded of letting go of the past when the past is not helpful or is locking us into a cage.

Challenge – Putnam – to be extreme about it, “bonding social capital” where inward looking social network and people of like mind goes on to result in segregation into mutually hostile camps.

Challenge – Alexander – how much aliveness is there in my community-related work. I may be alive but are others and what am I doing about that if not. As a PM often (always!) target an end goal/point that I/others can define. The book is indicating that this may not necessarily be helpful. What does that mean for project managers? We may need to unlearn some of our deeply-held project values when working in these areas.

Challenge – Koestenbaum – to confront people with their freedom more for them to have agency. Aware of the power of employment contracts to lock people into jobs they are not happy with. But we/you have the freedom to leave. Interested in accepting our freedom is a key step in caring for the well-being of the whole.

Challenge – Conference Model – “if we change the way we meet, we can change the way we live together” got inside my head to consider and it made me think. I am a stickler for organising meetings “properly”re agenda, advance notification, availability, venue etc. Aware that others just want to meet immediately with no prep. Wondering the impact of both practices in large group gatherings. ….

Challenge – Whole-Scale Change - This question challenged me re making use of this for all my meetings and not just those where problem solving is main item – “how will the world be different tomorrow as a result of our meeting today?”. Love the expectation and the starting point of that is why we are gathering together.

Challenge – The Power of Their Thinking – I am already good at “setting up” meetings but the quote “the way we bring people together matters more than our usual priority of the content we are presenting” was a further nudge to make sure that I do do this as best as I am able – it really is important. Cf the increasing prominence of the word “on-boarding” for new employees to an org.

Challenge - Bornstein-Cohen – good to hear that powerful things start in small ways – an encouragement to start small things rather than trying to go big from the outset. I need to be way more patient re things emerging and course correcting etc. Reminding me of rhizome thinking.

Explore – Alexander – more about what brings aliveness in what we do – may be lots for me here.

Explore – Large Group Methodology – lots of really interesting content here for me to explore. What of this content can I use day-to-day.

Explore – World Cafe – liked the idea of multiple small groups and all bar each table host moves round to understand other groups; perspectives.

Q2: How does the content of the book thus far compare to what you expected including how it may fit with what you are seeking to do with your communities?

A2: Not sure what I was expecting to be honest. Recommended to me by Rachel Happe so it was bound to be a helpful read on communities. It is far wider on community than I was expecting which is a good thing. It will be interesting to see how the book develops into practical application after this foundational chapter. I sense that this may help me understand how communities can effect change rather than simply being a series of discussion forums. My main driver in reading anything on community is how I can be more effective in my community manager role re deepening the community relationships, deepening (or starting to get!) engagemnt, getting real work done in communities.

My notes from the book

only when we are connected and care for the well-being of the whole is a civic democratic society created

cf Bodhisattva belief that not one of us can enter Nirvana until all others have gone before us

“What is extraordinary appears to us as a habit, the dawn a daily routine of nature”
(Abraham Joshua Heschel)

what makes community building so complex is that it occurs in an infinite number of small steps, sometimes hardly noticeable

we need to treat as important many things that we thought were incidental

key to creating or transforming community is to see the power in the small but important elements of being with others

the shift we seek needs to be embodied in each invitation we make, each relationship we encounter, each meeting we attend

at the most practical, after all the thinking about policy, strategy, mission and milestones, the structure of belonging gets down to how are we going to be when we gather together?

(chapter 1 starts here)

major influences on this content come from several disciplines and people whose work has been radical in many ways; their insights are foundational

people here are known to the author – shook his thinking and standing the test of time

The McKnight Insights: Gifts, Associational Life and Power

John McKnight a leading light in world of understanding community and what builds it

insights permanently changed author’s thinking:-

focus on gifts

community built by focusing on people’s gifts rather then their deficiencies
citizens in community want to know what you can do, not what you cannot do
in pro world of service providers, it is all about deficiencies and what is broken in people
people do not want to know what you can do when you see a pro service provider
cf other citizens groups, it is then about gifts
eliminates convos re problem solving
underscores limitations of labelling people: diminishes the capacity of people to fulfil their potential
if we care about transformation, we will stay focused on gifts to such an extent that our work is to simply bring gifts of those on margin to centre
to make communities stronger, we should study their assets, resources & talents

associational life

limitations of systems

John sees systems as organised group of funded, well-resourced pros who operate with cases, clients & services
as soon as you professionalise care, you have produced an oxymoron
systems capable of service not care

alternative is associational life: groups of people voluntarily coming together to do some good
e.g. neighbours caring for disabled people who were brought out of care homes – transformational for both parties

power in our hands

citizens are capable of identifying & solving problems on their own
most sustainable improvements are when citizens discover their own power to act
things can really happen when ppl reclaim power that has been delegated to others
this act of power is present in most stories of lasting community improvement & change

The Erhard Insights: The Power of Language, Context, and Possibility

Werner Erhard: 30+ years of creating thinking & learning experiences that have affected millions of lives

ideas derived from others but he packaged them up

the power of language

we know that dialogue & communication are imp tools for improvement
he takes it to another realm – asserts that all transformation is linguisitic
a shift in speaking & listening is essence of transformation
forces us to question the value of our stories, positions we take, our love of the past, our way of being in the world

the power of context

the context is decisive
the way we function is powerfully impacted by our worldview – by the way the world shows up for us
nothing can shift until we can question then choose again the basic set of beliefs that lie behind our actions - cf mental models
implied is we have choice over the context in which we live
plus we can choose a context that better suits who we are now without the usual requirements of:-

years of inner work
life-threatening crisis
a new relationship
going back to school

all the above are most common transformational technologies of choice
happens by changing our relationship with the past via reflection & rethinking, realising how we have not completed the past and brought it into the future
the shift happens when we pay close attention to our listening constraints & accept that our stories are our limitation – creates an opening for a new future

the power of possibility

understanding the potential in concept / use of “possibility”
distinct from vision, goals, purpose, destiny
“possibility”: a declaration of what we create in the world each time we show up – something we want to happen in the world (e.g. peace, inclusion, relatedness, reconciliation
possibility brought into world by declaring it
it then begins to work on us who declare it – we become the possibility – this is what is transforming
limitation of living into a new possibility is whatever we hold as our story (our version of the past & from which we take our identity)

these are key elements in any thinking about authentic transformation

similar to other insights, they are about a way of being in the world first – they can then be embodied in concrete actions

The Putnam Insights: Social Capital and the Well-Being of Community

Robert D. Putnam’s “Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community” added to convo about role of social capital in building community

studied Italian towns, difference between successful & unsuccessful towns was extent of social capital i.e relatedness of citizens & not other more assumed advantages – the cohesion among citizens

shows how we have become disconnected & how we may reconnect]

“social capital refers to social networks, norms of reciprocity, mutual assistance and trustworthiness. The central insight of this approach is that social networks have real value both for the people in those networks … as well as for bystanders. Criminologists, for instance, have shown that the crime rate in a neighbourhood is lowered when neighbours know one another well, benefitting even residents who are not themselves involved in neighbourhood activities”

bonding social capital: inward looking social networks, people of like mind

bridging social capital: outward looking, different kinds of people – our main interest in this book

if only bonding social capital then segregation into mutually hostile camps

The Alexander Insights: Aliveness, Wholeness & Unfolding

Christopher speaks from the world of architecture

grieves over fragmented mechanistic way we currently operate in

each person has own point of view – situation in which several dissimilar & incompatible points of view are at war in some poorly understood balancing act

aliveness and wholeness

create structures defined by a quality of aliveness
absence of presence of this has profound impact on experience of being in that structure
for aliveness to be present in final product, it needs to be in each step to there
grows out of a sense of wholeness

wholeness made up of a collection of separate centres
where each one has a certain life or intensity
the life of one depends on life of others
not inherent in centre itself but a function of the whole config in which the centre occurs

does every single step in our work hold this quality of life or intensity?
the human experience of aliveness in each choice / step has as much significance as any technical, economic or purely practical consideration
this aliveness often most found in surprising places
properties creating aliveness

deep interlock & ambiguity, contrast, roughness, simplicity & inner calm, not separateness

easy to take these words he uses for nature & in a room or building and apply them to world of social capital, human relatedness & belonging
much of what follows in book is bringing aliveness & wholeness to our notions of leadership, citizenship, social structures & context – these are all essential in creating community of belonging & restoration that we desire

transformation as unfolding

believes that aliveness & wholeness can only occur through a process of unfolding
transformation unfolds & given structure by a consciousness of the whole
task of transformation is to operate so that what we create grows organically, more concerned with quality of aliveness that gives us experience of wholeness than with predictable destination and speed we can reach it
unfolding strategy needs giving uncomfortable importance to each small step we take (e.g. layout of room and not just the issue being discussed)
each step becomes its own centre
value the importance of small things
in the absence of aliveness, we unknowingly experience an inner conflict, a feeling of something unresolved

The (Peter) Koestenbaum Insights: Paradox, Freedom and Accountability

for several decades has brought insights from philosophy to business world

Leadership Diamond: holistic, practical landscape of what is required of leaders to achieve personal / org greatness

appreciating paradox

values ambiguity & anxiety as natural condition of being human
painful choices we make personally & organisationally are an affirming aspect of their humanity
it is out of the subjectivity & complexity of life that transformation emerges
how profound the right question can be – creates the depth & opening for authentic change
questions take on an almost sacred dimension when they are valued for their own sake
in stark contrast to common need for answers & quick formulaic action

choosing freedom & accountability

search for human freedom – freedom being choice to be creator/owner of our own experience + responsibility that goes with that
perhaps real task of leadership is confront people with their freedom
may be ultimate act of love called for from those who hold power over others
freedom is what creates accountability – NOT an escape from it
when we accept our freedom, we become willing to care for the well-being of the whole

The Insights of Large Group Methodology: Designing for the Experience of Community

large group methodology – sophisticated approaches to bringing large groups of people together to create visions, build strategy, define work processes & set direction for orgs/communities
well-established among expert practitioners – not found its way into mainstream of how most leaders do planning & bring people together
often only used for special situations – a shame!
the methods are too profound & too important to remain mainly in hands of specialised experts
they need to be in regular practice of community/org leaders
they are more than just tools – they are the means of creating experience of democracy & high engagement
they have the potential to fundamentally change the nature of leadership – a good thing
methods

Future Search

Marvin Weisbord & Sandra Janoff
begins with scan of the environment & brings people into a confo re the world they want to create
importance of the right q
balancing expert input & communal dialogue
how structure flow of small group discussions into a collective outcome
codified distinction between solving problems & creating a future

Conference Model

Dick & Emily Axelrod
if we change the way we meet, we can change the way we live together
learning best occurs when we structure sessions to put people together to face same dilemmas as life
create experiences that simulate democratic , self-governing principles that if taken seriously can create large communities of committed / powerful people

Whole-Scale Change

late Kathie Dannemiller – “one heart, one mind”
she had faith in collective capacity of employees/citizens
“how will the world be different tomorrow as a result of our meeting today?”
she valued the q & had deep scepticism about answers
qs with most power touch people’s heart & their life experiences
“what did you hear? and how did you feel about that?”
wanted whole system in room & broke it into small groups
small groups maximally diverse
plus broad qs means people put aside personal interest and begin caring for the whole

The World Cafe

Juanita Brown & her partner David Isaacs
sophisticated simplicity
large q as purpose of gathering
each group focuses on q around a table
discuss and document on flips ideas worth retaining
one person says and others move tables
elegant model to create convergence for a large group

not described each model in detail re process but sets the scene

we may have relegated methods like this as incidental BUT these have a power beyond our imagination

form a way of thinking & operating in community that when matched with philosophical insights of others give us the structure of beloging we seek

the power of their thinking – a summary:-

accountability & commitment

when you have a hand in creating something
the community can meet the demands being placed on it
wisdom to solve is in the room if the right people are there – valid sample of population
argument for collective intelligence
argument against expensive studies & specialised expertise
lots of sceptics in powerful positions

learning from the stranger and one another

create in the room a living example of how we want the future to be
as much diversity as possible
the more strangers the better
all voices need to be heard but not necessarily at one time by everybody
success due to the most powerful things happening in the small groups
peer-to-peer is where most learning takes place

bias toward the future

devote little time to the past and areas where we will not agree
“What do we want to create together?”

how we engage matters

the way we bring people together matters more than our usual priority of the content we are presenting
how we structure the gathering is as important as those other concerns

these represent a dramatic shift from much of our conventional thinking which is not working that well …

The Bornstein-Cohen Insights: Scale, Speed and Emergent Design

David Bornstein, journalist, wrote about Grameen Bank, Bangladesh & other social innovations that became large movements

small-scale, slow growth

all started small
each had deeply-committed, self-chosen leader with commitment to change as many lives as possible
big changes led from top seldom succeed cf war on drugs
these entrepreneurs were committed / patient enough to give their projects time to evolve & find their own way if operating
they then begin to grow, gain attention, achieve scale to reach large numbers of people

emergent design

Allan Cohen – strategy consultant – deep understanding of power of convo with insights into organic nature of design
makes even more intentional / explicit Bornstein’s strategies
distinction between emergent strategies & destination / blueprint strategies
key is what you do after starting

recognise that orgs are always adapting / learning even without change initiatives

start by asking why org has not been moving naturally in a more desirable direction
take modest steps to impact the convo / relationships shaping the direction of change inherent in the org
watch what emerges, pause, reflect, course-correct
watch what emerges again
= crude def of emergence

change the conditions under which an intention is acted on

he claims the ability to herd cats
tilts the floor which changes conditions under which the cats operate
emergent strategies focus on conditions more than on behaviours or predictable goals
irony of act of predicting path may be obstacle to progress
strong emphasis on being clear on purpose – key to which is opening wide the possibility for a different future
importance of relatedness being the foundation of all achievement

Grameen Bank – teams of borrowers, ability of one to get a loan dependent on repayment by others in the group

these are core elements of the methods of collective transformation

integrating these insights gives us some basic conceptual elements for transforming communities

keep reading to gain more form /depth to these ideas & to apply them to our world, however large or small

Chapter 2: Shifting the Context for Community

As for earlier parts of the book, I compiled a set of questions after I had read this chapter. See section below. Ideally, fellow readers will copy the questions and answer them before being “led”/ “constrained” by my answers.

My research and application notes from the book

As someone who came to this book primarily to get a more theoretical underpinning of “community” to apply primarily to my working with online communities, the book is far wider than that and I am enjoying having my thinking expanded. I am continuing to read the book to apply what I am leading. The questions that I have compiled after reading the chapter will hopefully help me and others to do that.

Book Club Questions

Q1: What is your "workview" (and “lifeview”)? This came to mind at the start of the chapter when worldview was mentioned. See the following info from “Designing Your Life”.

==========

Workview and Lifeview

(taken from Burnett, Bill; Evans, Dave. Designing Your Life: Build a Life that Works for You (p. 26). Random House. Kindle Edition.)

BUILDING YOUR COMPASS

You need two things to build your compass - a Workview and a Lifeview. To start out, we need to discover what work means to you. What is work for? Why do you do it? What makes good work good? If you discover and are able to articulate your philosophy of work (what it’s for and why you do it), you will be less likely to let others design your life for you. Developing your own Workview is one component of the compass you are building; a Lifeview is second.

Now, Lifeview may sound a bit lofty, but it’s really not— everyone has a Lifeview. You may not have articulated it before, but if you are alive, you have a Lifeview. A Lifeview is simply your ideas about the world and how it works. What gives life meaning? What makes your life worthwhile or valuable? How does your life relate to others in your family, your community, and the world? What do money, fame, and personal accomplishment have to do with a satisfying life? How important are experience, growth, and fulfillment in your life? Once you’ve written your Workview and your Lifeview, and completed the simple exercise that follows, you’ll have your compass and be on the path toward a well-designed life.

==========

A1: My workview and lifeview can be seen in the blog post @ http://srjf.blogspot.com/2017/11/my-work-view-and-life-view-my-responses.html. This has also now made me think if this exercise would be useful done within each community we are a part of to get a shared and a common understanding. “Workview” would need to be renamed to reflect the specific community we are looking at. I paused when answering as these are deeply personal views and there will be greater or lesser overlap with other people’s views if and when you decide to compare notes with others in your community.

Q2: What communities are you a member of or do you lead? This can be answered for all areas of your life. As part of other learning work I have been doing, I created a template and completed it for mine. This may help you as you consider this question.

A2: See the document @ https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ft0H-v35RjKp_IDbzottMI9M87lFVE_YFFzvKLj-meY/edit?usp=sharing for all of my communities at a point in time earlier this year.

Q3: The content related to scarcity in the chapter reminded me of Carol Dweck’s fixed and growth mindsets. What is your understanding of these mindsets? If this is new to you, see https://youtu.be/M1CHPnZfFmU.

A3: There is no fixed “pie”. There is an abundance of “things” to go round. It can always be win-win rather than win-lose or lose-lose. Everything is a learning opportunity, especially failures. Nothing is static and fixed.

Q4: How would you measure yourself on a scale from totally individualistic to totally connected all the time. Defining those terms as you see fit.

A4: I am happy being on my own for extended periods and would go mad if I had no such time to read, learn and work on my own. But I also love being connected with other people in real life or virtually. I have become much more connected over the years both in real life and virtually. It has been eye opening for me learning in virtual groups and 1:1s on various platforms. I would advocate a balance of individualism and connectedness regardless of whether this is in real life or virtually. I should say though that my own world has been revolutionised by the internet and using collaboration platforms primarily for learning. Ideally, this will extend to my working life soon!!

Q5: How do you view the issues your communities - as problems to solve or as opportunities to build on? Why is that?

A5: What came to mind immediately is that at all the places I have worked we have templates called “Problem Definitions”. I have sought to change these to “Problem / Opportunity Definitions” to reframe the work as opportunities not just problems. Opportunities is a much more positive word and indeed makes the point that we are not just about solving problems but also about taking advantage of opportunities. This is also reminding me of SWOT Analysis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SWOT_analysis. It is all too easy to concentrate on problems but of course that needs root cause analysis. I need to explore the “context” content in this chapter when “reviewing” any of the communities I am a part of.

Q6: How caring and accountable to each other are the members in each of your communities?

A6: I will not go through my full list but for me “caring” and/or “accountability” will differ across the different kinds of communities I am a part of. I could consider adding these two dimensions to my communities log to force me to assess these. Family groups could and should be the most caring and accountable of all my communities. In some of my communities there are contractual obligations to abide by re “accountability”. Caring is often and mainly down to individuals. Some communities that I am a part of are completely voluntary to join and as such there is minimal or no accountability to the wider community.

Q7: What is your view of small group vs large group?

A7: Love being part of both. Different things are better in small or large groups. I like being “known” and as such typically prefer small groups. I am a fan of the wisdom of the crowd which is better in large groups! Loved the idea of small groups and large groups co-existing and people moving round from small group to small group with one person remaining to explain that prior group’s views. Definitely need to have the two sizes of groups.

Q8: Do your communities value your uniqueness? How do they demonstrate that?

A8: Different value placed on that by each one. Those communities in which I am truly me, no holds barred, are those where my uniqueness is valued. God has wired me in a unique way (like He has all of us). In some communities, I am not utilised to my best effect often through ignorance and often through me not pushing myself forward more. One of the main issues is people having boxes that they expect you to fit into. This is a challenge and an issue for me with my wide and broad areas of interest and expertise some of which is irrelevant and/or unknown by others who in some cases have no interest in my capability.

Q9: "All transformation is linguistic". Discuss.

A9: As a person of words, this statement stopped me in my tracks. Words are powerful and can bring change. Spending a lot of time in the Christian world in real life and virtually, there are so many Christian communicators who are amazing at moving a group of people through their words. This is in marked contrast to their/our secular counterparts. A clip from a Jocko Willink podcast is amazing on the power of words in writing and speaking: https://loopvideos.com/ZFS7jBQFOcU?from=7360&to=8466.

Q10: Lots of things were said about what makes up "conversation". What is your view of this and what actions are you considering taking as a result?

A10: I was already a person who tries to design everything about “events” from meetings to calls to conferences etc including the fill life cycle of planning, pre-, during and post-events. This content just further challenged me to do an even better job at doing all of this.

Q11: Related to Q10. If we took seriously "every time we gather has potential to become a model of future we want to create", what difference would that make to how you live out all roles in your life?

A11: For me, this just emphasises that each interaction I have with 1/more people has the potential to be a change event even those that may not appear so! I am duly challenged to take even more care over my planned / proactive interactions as well as the reactive / unplanned interactions. This also spoke to me about introducing and welcoming people as well as listening to them and being increasingly open to all points of view. This can be a challenge especially when I am working within the constraints of a party line.

Q11: What is your own experience of storytelling as a receiver of stories and as a deliverer of stories?

A11: I am an increasing fan of stories both as teller and receiver. I was brought up on the parables of Jesus – stories that had a point. Earlier in my life I have wanted just to receive and send the bulleted information as for me it was then easier to learn or so I thought. I am grateful now for those who make their points via stories as they help me learn and remember. I am becoming more of a storyteller myself to flesh out and explain my content. Part of this process is to verbalise the connections I have made in my mind to help others keep up with my thinking.

My notes from the book

move towards authentic community entails shift in context

context:-

expression of mental models we bring to our collective efforts
set of beliefs we are aware of or unaware of that dictate how we think, how we frame the world, what we pay attention to and then how we behave
aka worldview

existing dominant context: we live in a world of:-

scarcity

no matter how much we have, it is never enough
whatever is needed, never enough to go round

competition

world is rank-ordered top to bottom
zero sum game

individualism

you are on your own
myth - there is such a thing as an autonomous human being
the belief that people born on 3rd base, worked to get there

current context leads us to:-

analyse deficiencies
define gap between needs and aspirations
believe we need to produce:-

more programmes
more measurement
better planning
better problem solving
stronger leadership

shifts in context needed for move to authentic community:-

community of possibilities not problems
community exists for the sake of belonging:-

takes its identity from:-

gifts
generosity
accountability of its citizens

not defined by its:-

fears
isolation
penchant for retribution

we currently have all capacity, expertise, programmes , leaders, regulations, wealth required to end unnecessary suffering & create an alternative future

community is fundamentally an interdependent human experience given form by the convo citizens hold among themselves

the history, buildings, economy, infrastructure & culture are products of the convos & social fabric of any community

the built and cultural environments are secondary gains of how we choose to be together

Principles of Strategy

shifting the context leads to certain principles of a strategy to build community:-

essential work is to build social fabric for its own sake & enable chosen accountability among citizens

when citizens care for each other, they become accountable to each other
care & accountability create a productive community
design ways to bring citizens (incl formal leaders – they are citizens too!) together so they experience the “quality of aliveness”
occurs by being highly attentive to the way we gather

strong associational life is essential & central

this is how citizens choose to build connections for their own sake – for small & large things
incidental encounters or more regular meetings are core determinants for transformation
creating connectedness becomes an end and a means
large established systems (e.g. biz, govt) are imp but not essential to community transformation
for systems, building relatedness is mostly a means not an end in itself

citizens using their power to convene other citizens create an alternative future

shift in thinking of citizens more vital than shift in thinking / actions of orgs & formal leaders
sharp contrast to trad beliefs re need for better leadership, more programs, new funding, new regs, more oversight are key to path to better future
these are necessary at times but do not have power to create fundamental shift

small group is the unit of transformation

structure of how small groups gather that an alternative future will be created
set aside our concern for scale & speed & practicality – usually means status quo remains
belonging can occur via membership of large groups but this form of belonging reduces power of citizens – surrendering our identity for sake of belonging
we find in small groups a place that can value our uniqueness

all transformation is linguistic – we can think of community as essentially a conversation

to change the community, change the convo

shift from problems, fear, retribution to possibility, generosity, restoration

this is the new context that creates strong social capital & created by it

overarching intent of the principles is to create communities that operate out of a new context:-

context occurs as individual mindsets
but also exists as a form of collective worldview
community context carried through frequently repeated beliefs that citizens hold about the place where they live
media one carrier of context but does not create it

if transformation is linguistic, need a new convo, not one that we had before, one that can create experience of aliveness / belonging

the act of engaging citizens in convo that allows us to act in concert and create accountability between citizens

convo: used in broad sense – all the ways we listen, speak, communicate meaning to each other – includes architecture of our buildings and public spaces, the way we inhabit & arrange a room when we gather & space we give to the arts

The Futility Context: Community as a Problem to be Solved

to make a difference in our community, must begin by naming current context & evolve to new way of thinking that leads to new convos that produce a new context

it is the shift in convo that increases social capital

every time we gather has potential to become a model of future we want to create

our current context is long way from one of gifts, generosity and accountability

current dominant context is one of deficiencies, interests & entitlement

from this context we get the belief that the suffering of communities is a set of problems to be solved

too easy for people to rush through virtues of community & then major on the problems

our love of problems deeper than:-

the joy of complaint
being right
escape from responsibility

we operate from core belief that alternative / better future comes from more problem solving – the dominant mind-set of western culture

this context may limit any chance of the future changing

some take identity from their problems

but some benefits of community-as-problems-to-be-solved:-

values ability to implement
big on doing
has certain honesty about it
values ability to implement
worships tangible results as ultimate blessing

so to shift context need to detach from discussion on problems – one way is to see problems as symptoms of something deeper

The Limitations of Symptoms

conventional approach to community building:-

create programmes
blueprints
funding to keep us

safe
working
housed
healthy

most simply treat symptoms

naming the challenge as “breakdown of community” opens the way for restoration

holding on to view that community is set of problems to be solved holds us in grip of retribution

Getting Our Story About Story Straight

one form of retributive community is the story we tell ourselves and each other about who we are

storytelling plays noble / historic role in our lives & society

stories can give us narrative to guide and instruct us

crucial to knowing who we are - provide sense of identity

some stories limit us from creating anything new

useful / fulfilling stories:-

metaphors
signposts
parables
inspiration for fullest expression of our humanity
communal teaching
creation
wisdom
personal

storytelling of highest order:-

theatre
films
songs
literature
art

the arts are an essential part of the story of what it means to be a human being and a community

limiting stories are personal versions of the past – stories about conclusions we drew from events that happened to us

Chapter 3: The Stuck Community

My research and application notes from the book

Nothing over and above my answers to the questions in the next section.

Book Club Questions

Q1: How would you characterise a stuck community?

With the definition in the book - fear, list of problems to be addressed, how that is communicated in the media or equivalent communications channels in our communities, fear preventing people being the real “them”, rules and control dominant, fault and blame is central, old ways of doing things, not self-regulating, people feeling they do not have agency to make change happen themselves, lack of accountability and responsibility for individuals to step up to play their part

Q2: What examples in your own communities (or others that you are aware of) or more theoretically would you use in support of your response to Q1?

A2: I have been involved in a residents group for a big housing estate with all stakeholders represented including police. The agenda and air time in public meetings were all about problems to be addressed and in many cases addressing people’s fears about crime issues. Lots of the issues listed are part of a starting point of building community of giving people a voice and encouraging them to use that voice. I have experienced in the past groups where people leave things to those with formal power to do the work. Some people are more concerned with assigning blame and responsibility than actually moving the community on. I am also aware though that people with responsibility do need to be held to account for their actions and replaced etc where that is appropriate. The challenge of engagement is an ongoing one in all communities including getting people to actively contribute to their communities and not just take.

Q3: What experiences do you have of the power of people coming together in their communities? What differences are there when people are angry or calm when they do this?

A3: Lots. In most cases these are regular on a recurring schedule. Aware that there are also ad-hoc cases that are less frequent. Always a challenge when the trigger of people coming together when there is a major issue that needs addressing so there is a specific single issue agenda. When people are angry they/we are often less ready to hear different points of view especially from those we/they view as the causes of the things that are making them/us angry.

Q4: What is your understanding of how gathering together impacts our transformational capability?

A4: I continue to make the point that the book is making me think deeply about the impact that meeting/gathering planning and design has on setting the scene and expectation of transformation. I am not woeful at such planning and design but I do tend to concentrate more on the objectives of gatherings and what needs to be done to achieve those objectives.

Q5: “To choose possibility means we have to confront cynicism.” How has this issue played out in your own community building efforts? In your answer also comment on the power of optimism and pessimism as we build community.

A5: There are always cynical and pessimistic people in communities. Ideally, we get to the root causes of understanding why by listening to such people. Often this helps to understand the whole picture/context in which the community operates. By doing this we can then influence such people in the community to get on board and see for themselves. Unfortunately, this is not always possible and some people may remain cynical and pessimistic. Optimism and pessimism are powerful emotions. Optimism needs to be justified rather than just having rose-tinted glasses. Pessimism can be deadly when it starts spreading. Both can be harnessed when used proactively via techniques like Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats – makes a group wear each hat in turn when looking at a specific subject – makes the pessimists think optimistically for a period and the optimists think pessimistically. As ever, we need to hear all voices in the community so people know that they have been heard.

Q6: The author speaks of “associational life” and “system life”. Describe these for someone new to these phrases.

A6: “Associational life” is all the ways that a community lives in relationship with each other more informally. “System life” is the way in which the community runs organisationally, the more formal relationships. It prioritises economic measures. It is more about control and oversight.

Q7: Say something about how media and communications channels impact community.

A7: All media and comms channels have an agenda. Lots of media is outsiders looking in to the community that are not always directly involved in the community and are simply commenting on what they observe. They tend to focus more on scandal that make headlines. Comms channels that are run by those within the community are better able to represent and influence the community more supportively. The audience for comms though need to be happy that the comms channel is reliable, trustworthy and has the best interests of the community at heart. A corporate agenda in community news channels needs to be avoided as it is easily seen through. There needs to be an authentic voice in the corporate channels with leaders and staff at all levels seeing that they have a voice that can be communicated in parallel and intertwined with the corporate voice.

My notes from the book

to create a new story, need to come to terms with the current one

starts by naming it

story of stuck community can be heard in dominant public debate but also in 1:1 chat

imp to understand there is hidden agenda in every story & that agenda stays constant regardless of events

Marketing Fear and Fault

overriding characteristic is decision to broadcast all the reasons we have to be afraid

cf lead stories in media

= the marketing of fear

the commercialisation of suffering for the sake of profit and a political agenda

not that complicated

this is the retributive agenda – underlines importance of rules – restraints, consequences & control

fear forms basis of foreign policy & drives much of our legislation, fuels allure of suburbia & is subtle / clear argument vs diversity & inclusion

the stuck community markets fault – something happens we find someone to blame

what is missing is recognition of complexity of human affairs & accidental nature of life – no insurance policy vs human condition

from the decision to dwell on fear & fault, community stuck in context in which:-

we are community of problems to be solved – convo dominated by those who best articulate problems & solutions
future defined by interplay of self-interests, dependent on accountability of leaders, controlled by small number of wealthy / powerful people, commonly lumped into group called “they”
community action aimed at eliminating the sources of our fear – needs, deficiencies – we try harder at what we have been doing all along which is not working

Ramping Up Laws and Oversight

we assume if we find guilty party, some legislation will stop the issue from happening again

+ the push for more oversight – we think that more watching will help performance

all the evidence is to the contrary – most high-performing orgs & communities are heavily self-regulating

the stuck community believes that citizens / employees incapable of monitoring themselves & controlling each other

Romanticising Leadership

we love our habit of dependency & accept culture of retribution because it reinforces the case for strong leaders – aka autocratic

this means that all that counts is what leaders do

= a deeply patriarchal agenda

this love of leaders limits our capacity to create alternative future

the effect of this is that it lets citizens off the hook & breeds citizen dependency and entitlement

undermines development of a culture where each is accountable for their community

each of us is accountable for our small piece of creating better conditions

what is missing or ignored are the community building insights:-

how groups work
power of relatedness
what happens when ordinary people get together

most citizens only get engaged in community when they are angry

if we keep engaging citizens in this trad way, no amount of involvement will make a difference

the way we currently gather together has no transformational power

if we do not sort this out, we will never step up to the power and accountability that is within our grasp

Marginalising Possibility

given the dominant context, anything positive / hopeful becomes an anomaly, exception, accident

to choose possibility means we have to confront cynicism

certain professions claim their cynicism comes from constant contact & familiarity with the dark side of society – this ignores reality that what you see comes from what you choose to look at

cynicism justifies retribution, retribution is fuelled by cynicism

possibility & faith seen as threatening as indictment of cynicism

mainstream journalism treats people as passive spectators and is profession which thinks role is speak truth to power

worship sensational & tragic

possibility gets undermined by being confused with optimism

possibility is not a prediction or a goal – it is a choice to bring a certain quality into our lives

optimism which is a prediction about the future has no power – pessimism is equally irrelevant

the ways in which possibility is marginalised underline the importance of context

to create alternative future you have to change the context

Devaluing Associational Life

(John McKnight, long time student of community) community is built most powerfully by associational life – = the myriad ways citizens come together to do good work and serve public interest – make good communities work

stuck community discounts associational life & instead values / glorifies “system” life, esp private sector and corporate mindset

we still act as if what is good for business is good for country

ways that associational life is discounted:-

only true measure of community is economic prosperity according to traditional measures
we name social services and orgs that serve the public good as “not-for-profits”

better as “public benefit” sector

associations under constant pressure to be more corporate: to merge, become more efficient, submit to external oversight, measure harder, submit to greater accountability

we use the language of commerce when talking about the field of generosity

public benefit sector only makes news when there is scandal
we marginalise compassion in public convo

Reinforcing Self-Interest and Isolation

all this creates insular mentality

creates silos and lack of people committed to wellbeing of the whole

people only activated when something directly affects them

The Media

media is a reflection of who we, as citizens, have become

the agenda in each news story defines what is important, and in doing this, promotes an identity for a community

the power that is most defining is the power of the media to decide what is worth talking about

“News is what somebody wants to suppress; all the rest is advertising” (Lord Northcliffe, British newspaper pioneer)

social media included in media – take retribution, blame, accusation to extreme

citizens have the capacity to change the community story,to reclaim the power to name what is worth talking about, to bring a new context into being

those of us who create the current dominant context for the community convo drive the conditions that nurture a retributive context & retributive community

we need to change the context and strategies that follow from it else no new outcomes

Chapter 4: The Restorative Community

My research and application notes from the book

I just devised and answered the Book Club questions in the next section.

Book Club Questions

Chapter 4: The Restorative Community

Q1: What does restorative community mean to you?

A high energy community. Looking forward not backwards. Changing. Moving the game on. Not being happy about the current position. People taking responsibility for doing things and being accountable for doing them. People saying what they will do when and doing that every time.

Q2: What would being a restorative community mean for a community that you are currently a member of?

More people being engaged. More engagement between gathering times. Inclusive and more forgiving.

Q3: What does connectedness and belonging mean to you?

Ongoing and deep relationships with other members of the community. Members feeling they are connected. Questions being asked and answered. A sense of ownership of what the community does and is. Members able to be the real them and supported in that.

Q4: What is the difference between accountability and entitlement?

Accountability is about people suggesting and doing things for the community proactively and reactively. Entitlement is being passive and demanding that other members of the community doing things for them and being at their beck and call.

Q5: How does restorative justice encourage you?

People can have a second chance. Reconciliation back into the community. People given the opportunity to ask for and receive forgiveness, Ability of the community to review what has happened in a dialogue and to then move on where that is possible. Not just about retribution. Ideally, the community can move on. This is a powerful process.

Q6: How does conversation enable transformation?

A7: I am starting to understand the significance of people speaking out loud their hopes and dreams and the power there is in those words being spoken in a community context. Encouraging me to get people articulating their dreams more with no immediate validation or decision making on those dreams.

My notes from the book

isolating effects of retribution

restorative experience, relationship or community produces a new energy rather than keeping us static

restoration: quality of aliveness / wholeness per Christopher Alexander

in artefacts, buildings, places he talks about + in gatherings & convos we choose to create

restorative community activated by language of connection & relatedness & belonging spoken without embarassment

taking responsibility for your own part in creating current position is the critical act of courage & engagement – the axis around which the future rotates

essence of restorative community building is NOT economic prosperity or political discourse or capacity of leadership but IS citizens’ willingness to own up to their contribution or agency in current conditions, to be humble, to choose accountability & have faith in their own capacity to make authentic promises to create alternative future

all we seek to achieve hinges on accountability – who will stand up and be counted

cf prison population in USA – retributive cultures claim to increase accountability but can’t deliver it

accountability: always a choice, what we do when no one is looking

choose to be accountable not entitled

accountability: willingness to care for the whole

comes from convos about how we can create the future

entitlement: convos about what others can do for us

restoration starts when we think of community as a possibility, a declaration of the future we choose to live into

communal possibility distinct from individual possibility

in the individualistic world we live in, we can congregate a large collection of self-actualised individuals and still not hold idea or experience of community

communal possibility – what can we create together? – the intersection of possibility & accountability

possibility without accountability is wishful thinking

accountability without possibility – more of what we have now – leads to despair

Lessons from Restorative Justice

restoration about healing our woundedness – in community terms, healing our fragmentation & incivility – only out of healing can something new emerge

cf use of “restorative” in justice terms for offender & victim – also gives a voice to the community which has been wounded by the crime

several steps in restorative justice instances – the steps contain many of steps in community building

learn from RJ context & spirit

they show that there is an alternative to retribution

Community as Conversation

we need to grasp the importance of language

it is the action step that makes creating an alternative future possible

begin to think of our communities as nothing more or less than a conversation

function of citizenship & leadership is invite a new narrative into existence

greatest effect when we have a new convo with people we are not used to talking to

future of a community depends on choice of retributive convo (problem to be solved) & restorative convo (a possibility to be lived into)

with this convo, restoration becomes real & tangible, once we have declared a possibility & done so with sense of belonging & in presence of others, that possibility has been brought into the room & thus into the org, into the community

a possibility is critical element of communal transformation

cf bearing witness in church

The Shift

summary …

our convos & gatherings have power to shift context from retributive community to restorative community

occurs via qs & dialogue that move us:-

from convos about problems to ones of possibility
from convos about fear & fault to ones of gifts, generosity & abundance
from a bet on law & oversight to a preference for building social fabric & chosen accountability
from seeing corporation & systems as central to change to seeing associational life as central
from focus on leaders to focus on citizens

common is move from centrism & individualism to collectivism & interdependent communalism

changes our mindset from valuing what is efficient to valuing belonging

helps us leave behind our penchant for seeing our disconnectedness as inevitable consequence of modern life and moves us towards accountability & citizenship

Chapter 5: Taking Back Our Projections

My research and application notes from the book

See answers to the Book Club questions.

Book Club Questions

Q1: Define context

A1: This is the now. How we see the world today. Not looking back and being locked into the past. Understanding the present.

Q2: Define projection

A2: When we see problems as being within other people and therefore not our problem. If we recognised this projection we would welcome those people into our group and let them know that they belonged to our group, treating them as neighbours.

Q3: Define labelling

A3: Giving people a name defining them by what they cannot do. This tends to isolate the most vulnerable.

Q4: Discuss care versus welcome

A4: Whilst caring for specific groups of people, we do not welcome them into our group. We service them (e.g. meeting their needs) but do so while treating them like objects.

Q5: What does the chapter advocate for communal transformation?

Take back our collective projections. Connect with those who were previously strangers. Invite people into conversations that ask them to act as creators or and / or owners of community. Focus on people’s gifts not on their deficiencies. Differences become a source of vitality and a gift to the community instead of being a set of problems to be solved. We all become citizens.

My notes from the book

shift in context from retribution to restoration – starts by us going deeper into what it means to be accountable for ourselves and the world

it is not “them” it is “us”

focus on distinction between culture & context

common thinking that transformation needs culture change

but is actually context

context is the way we see the world not remember the world

if this thing we call context were fact then it would be amenable to transformation

context is not inevitable and therefore we do not need to fear

cf crime can go down but people’s fear of crime can go up cf crime reporting goes up (retributive culture)

be committed to a future distinct from the past – context not culture

Projection and Labelling

if we think the situation is inevitable, it lets us off the hook

if we view problems as residing in others that is projection – that needs replacing

projection denies the fact that my view of the other is my creation

how I view myself is an extension or template of how I view myself

this insight is essence of being accountable – willingness to focus on what we can do in face of whatever the world presents to us – does not project or deny – willingness to see the whole picture that resides within – the pretty and the ugly

we are familiar with personal projection but also applies to profession, institution & community

cf poverty, when we see people in poverty we focus on their needs/deficiencies, that is all we see, think they have created that condition for themselves, view them with charity or poverty – we project our own vulnerability onto them

cf other society issues

problem then is that we think they need to change before we can change the world

if we saw them as us we would welcome them into our midst, let them know they belong, that they are neighbours with all their complexity

---

to continue as a community to focus on needs/deficiencies of the most vulnerable is not an act of hospitality

subs labelling for welcome

isolating as they become special category of people who are defined by what they cannot do – isolating the most vulnerable

despite our care for them, we do not welcome them into our midst, we service them, they become objects

labelling & consequent services is the commercialisation of needs per John McKnight

Taking Back The Projection

projection sustains itself in absence of relatedness in a life or workplace where we have no sense of belonging

cannot be taken back by acting alone

communal transformation, taking back our collective projections, occurs when ppl connect with those who were previously strangers & when we invite ppl into convos that ask them to act as creators or owners of community

we stop labelling them for their deficiencies and focus on their gifts

differences, instead of being problems to solve, become a source of vitality , a gift

we become owners, with the free will capable of creating the world we want to inhabit – we become citizens

Chapter 6: The Inversion Into Citizen

My research and application notes from the book

See answers to the Book Club questions.

Book Club Questions

Q1: The book defines “citizen” as “one who is willing to be accountable for and committed to the well-being of the whole; one who produces the future, someone who does not wait, beg or dream for the future”. What is your assessment of that definition.

A1: This definition would apply to a tiny percentage of a nation’s population. We may live like this on a small scale in our sphere of influence. Unlikely that people think about this on a national scale and many would say that their influence was miniscule.

Q2: Give examples of how you live out your citizenship.

A2: I recently spoke about this in the #VideoWalks series on Twitter when the theme was British (see https://youtu.be/iAbwHsPjGZw). I have a British passport. I say that I am half-English and half-Scottish and prouder of my Scottish half. I am a law-abiding citizen, pay my taxes and do look out for those around me. My Christian faith is a priority to me and if, at any time, the values of Britain conflicted with my Christian values then the Christian view would take precedence even if that was at personal cost to me.

Q3: How do you feel about voting in elections, if you live in a country that holds elections?

A3: I am grateful that I have the power to vote and always exercise that power. I believe we should have proportional representation. I believe that we should all exercise our vote. We should never take our freedom to vote for granted and in some cases people have died for us to have the vote or to maintain our liberty as a nation.

Q4: Take the list of attributes of a citizen in the chapter and apply them to a community that you lead, facilitate and/or are a member of. How did this help in your assessment of the health of that community?

A4: I will apply this to the online communities that I facilitate or am a member of including a Workplace by Facebook community of learners, Twitter Chats etc:

“holds yourself accountable for well-being of larger collective of which you are a part: respond to the q what is in it for me with I don’t know”

I represent the community to those who do not take part. I look out for others in the community who are asking questions or who seem like they need support from the community in a way that is appropriate to that person. In every community I am a part of, I give with no regard to what I get back. I associate with communities that I believe I could belong in and that I know I can contribute to.

“chooses to own / exercise power rather than defer / delegate it to others”

I take ownership of everything I do. I am a contributor and a giver. I play an active part. I am not passive. I look to move the game on. Always on the look out to invite others and to encourage people to move from spectating to being an active participant. I want to hear all voices.

“enters into a collective possibility that gives hospitable & restorative community its own sense of being”

I want things to be healthy and grow and move on. I do not want things that I am associated with to be static or go backwards.

“acknowledges that community grows out of citizens’ deciding to trust each other and cooperate to make this place better”

I am a trusting person unless and until the other person damages that trust in some way and then I try to aim for some form of restoration.

“attends to the gifts / capacities of all others and act to bring the gifts of those on the margin into the centre … find a way to do this each time you meet … to understand our gifts, we need to hear about them from each other as a practice for ending a gathering; citizenship is the knowledge that I have contributed something of value, I have to hear to believe it.”

I am always on the look out to understand what each person can contribute to the group as a whole. In my church world, we use the phrase the right people in the right places for the right reasons. We believe that each person is made uniquely by God with their own set of talents and skills that need to be identified and deployed to grow His church on earth. The “each time” is the challenge. In larger groups that will be a time challenge! Again, in my church world we often have a formal programme but there are open times for people to share what is on their mind that week. I have had memorable experiences hearing people speak when I had no idea that they were interested in and passionate about certain subjects. I love the phrase “a stranger is a friend you have not met yet”.

Q5: Review the inversion and implication pairs and summarise how this applies to your current situation in any/all contexts of your life.

A5: These challenged my thinking. I understand and agree with some more than others. I agree that there is mutual power in all relationships. Ideally, there will be meeting of minds re common objectives but that will be a challenge when there is a conflict in those objectives. I agree that we have agency in all our relationships even where the formal power is more on one side. This made me think about any situations and relationships where I abdicate my agency and assume a situation is immovable. Also made me think about what I do that is completely my call and what involves other people and me in some form of relationship. I need to take more ownership to influence situations and relationships where I have abdicated that responsibility either actively or passively.

Q6: How accountable and entitled are you?

A6: I probably should be more accountable in some areas of my life to others but I do hold myself to account for what I do and how I live either personally or with others. I always try to keep my promises in terms of doing what I say I am going to do and when. Entitled is an interesting one. In my employment world, my working for my employer is a contractual relationship that gives me some entitlements such as salary and holiday entitlement. Ditto as a citizen with paying my taxes and expecting things in return such as the nation’s health system, education system etc even if I am not a direct beneficiary of all those services.

My notes from the book

need to talk about the word “citizen”

definition: one who is willing to be accountable for and committed to the well-being of the whole; one who produces the future, someone who does not wait, beg or dream for the future

whole: city block, workplace, community, a nation, the earth

opposite is a consumer or client

consumers give power away, believing that their own needs are best met by the actions of others, allow others to define their needs, collude with leaders & service providers by accepting their definition of their needs = breeding ground for entitlement

The Meaning of Citizenship

conventional definition: act of voting, vow to uphold constitution & laws of a country

narrow and limiting

reduces the power of “citizen” – as if voting ensures a democracy

certainly one of the features

the right to vote does not guarantee a civil society or a restorative one

cf election time when voters become consumers, candidates products, issues the message, campaign is marketing and distribution system for the selling of candidates

this is the power of the consumer which is no power at all

understandable why so few vote = helplessness

this thinking is not an excuse not to vote BUT it indicates that our work is to build the capacity of citizens to be accountable and become creators of community

---

citizenship as willingness to build community gets displaced by isolationism in any form

the idea of what it means to be a citizen needs to be taken back to its more profound value – a state of being, a choice for activism and care

a citizen is someone who:-

holds yourself accountable for well-being of larger collective of which you are a part

respond to the q what is in it for me with I dont know

chooses to own / exercise power rather than defer / delegate it to others
enters into a collective possibility that gives hospitable & restorative community its own sense of being
acknowledges that community grows out of citizens’ deciding to trust each other and cooperate to make this place better
attends to the gifts / capacities of all others and act to bring the gifts of those on the margin into the centre

find a way to do this each time you meet
to understand our gifts, we need to hear about them from each other as a practice for ending a gathering
citizenship is the knowledge that I have contributed something of value
I have to hear to believe it

The Inversion of Cause

to create communities where citizens reclaim their power, needs shift in our beliefs about who is in charge and where power resides

invert cause and effect

this shift has the capacity to confront our entitlement & dependency

being powerful: my experience, discovery, pleasure are mine to create

this view has us see how audiences create performances, children create parents, students create teachers, citizens create leaders

we have agency

a future created by our own hands

inverting our thinking does not change the world, but it creates a condition where the shift in the world becomes possible

think of ourselves as cause – creates a culture of citizen accountability – the point on which accountability revolves

inverting our thinking about cause and effect gives support to really change the way things work

question to begin to reclaim our power as citizens is “if you believed this to be true, in what ways would that make a difference, or change your actions"?”

“have we chosen the present or has it been handed to us?”

the view that we are determined by everything aside from free will

but the opposite is also true; free will trumps genetics, culture, parental upbringing

The Utility of this Inversion

1st inversion I ran into was the thought that the inmates run the prison

some implications of switching our thinking …

inversion: the audience creates the performance
implications: redesign the audience experience; stop putting so much energy into those on stage; limit to 4 slides; when we meet, make it possible for the audience to engage with each other; do not have fixed chairs; audience see one another; whatever happens on stage, you are not alone & you will have the ability to get what you came for

inversion: the subordinate creates the boss
implications: learning, development & goal setting are in hands of subordinate; stop surveys about bosses, no one knows what to do with the results; turn attention from boss to peers which are the relationships that create the work

inversion: the child creates the parent
implications: parents could sleep through the night; convos and work to inculcate values & forcing consequences would reduce and we would focus on gifts, teachings & blessings of the young instead of seeing them as problems to be managed

inversion: citizens create their leaders
implications: our dependency on & disappointment in them would go down; media would have to change their stories about them; cost of elections reduce by 90% as who we elect would be less important; candidates could be poor financially; leaders would be conveners, not role models & containers for our projections

inversion: a room and a building are created by the way they are occupied
implications: we would be intentional about how we showed up; we would spend time designing how we sit in the room; we would not be mere consumers of the way the room was intended to be used or dependent on how the room was laid out for us or how the last group left it; we would redesign the physical space around us in a way that affirmed community to give it a welcoming feel and give the sense that you had come to the right place; most importantly, how we sit together would be a serious subject of discussion

inversion: the student creates the teacher and the learning
implications: education would be designed more for learning than for teaching, aka individualised learning, cf Montessori education, partnership between teacher & student, students set goals for themselves and be responsible for learning of other students, the end of standardised testing & core curriculum

inversion: youth create adults
implications: adults decide to get interested in experience of youth instead of instructing, in conferences etc about youth, youth voices would be central, youth becomes a possibility not a problem, key question “what is it that we do not understand about you?“

inversion: the listening creates the speaker
implications: listening considered as action step, not just waiting until we get a chance to speak, silence between statements and experienced as other than dead space, listening would drive our speaking, learn what speaking into the listening of the room means, listening as more important than speaking

etc etc

when we invert our thinking, the focus of attention / effort gets redirected

the power in these shifts is they confront us with our own freedom in unexpected ways

out of this freedom, which we have ways of escaping (!), community & authentic accountability are born

I will be an accountable possibility only for that which I have been involved in creating, my life & community included

inversion of cause refocuses my attention from that person in authority to that person who with others holds the real power

we will never eliminate our need for great leaders and people on the stage, but we cannot afford to put all our experience / future in their hands

---

no need to argue about inversion, only to play with its utility

a given inversion may not be true but useful in the way it gives us power to evoke the kind of citizen we have defined as crucial to a true community

people who work in civic arena have a certain cynicism about citizens – e.g. the challenge to get parents involved in schools, how few people turn up to council meetings, the small numbers of people actively involved in the community

some of this is accurate!

what restores community is to believe we play a role in constructing this current position

it is not in the nature of people to be apathetic, entitled, complainers

as long as we see leader as cause, we will produce passive, entitled citizens

when we see citizen as cause, this will shift our attention and wealth and energy & creativity that goes with them

this shift in our cause and effect thinking, creates the belief in each case , including our individual lives, choice & destiny replace accident & fate … no small thing

A Word About Accountability

entitlement as WIIFM, consumer mentality, only what is scarce has value

if we create a context of fear, fault & retribution, we will focus on protecting ourselves which plants seeds of entitlement

cost of entitlement: escape from accountability, soft on commitment

weakness in dominant view of accountability is that it thinks people can be held accountable

this illusion creates entitlement and worse it drives us apart rather than bringing us together – denies that we are our brother’s keeper

to control a culture, fear has to be sold

community is built by the stories of success

re conventional thinking about accountability at work, notice dominant convos at work: time spent talking about those not present or about changing/influencing people to change to meet our goals

these convos do not produce power but consume it

Chosen Accountability, Commitment and the Use of Force

commitment and accountability are always paired and linked with creating community

none exists without the others

accountability: willingness to care for wellbeing of the whole

commitment; willingness to make a promise with no expectation of return

cf altruism

beware conditional commitment which is bartering

constantly reacting to choices of others is increased cynicism and helplessness

ultimately resorts to use of force – the belief that for anything to change, we must mandate or use coercion

use of force is end product of retribution

commitment is antithesis of entitlement & barter

unconditional commitment with no thought of WIIFM is emotional & relational essence of community = integrity, fidelity, honouring your word

commitment is to choose a path for its own sake – the essence of power

Chapter 7: The Transforming Community

My research and application notes from the book

See answers to the Book Club questions.

Book Club Questions

Q1: “Large scale training programmes and change efforts fail because individual lives are changed but culture & community are unmoved”. Comment on any experiences of such initiatives you have been involved in.

A1: All the projects I have been involved in performing a variety of roles have implemented some form of business change. The best example that comes to mind was a culture change programme at Yorkshire Electricity in the late 1990s to help the organisation through from a monopoly supplier of gas and electricity to a specific area of the UK to a fully-competitive market in 1998. It was all about managing extraordinary service delivered by the-then Kaset International. All staff including call centre operators went through the same programme in groups of 50 or so. Powerful experience and I still use lots of the content to this day re who are our customers (internal and external), what are the moments of truth in that relationship and how can we maximise the value of those moments to deliver extraordinary service.

Q2: What is your view of the role of leaders in changing an organisation or a community?

A2: The leaders of an organisation have the prime responsibility for setting the strategy and the direction of an organisation. This is where the formal power of an organisation lies and this is what these people are paid to do. I am aware that increasingly there is informal or social power that may reside in other people. The most effective organisations will need to maximise the benefit of both groups. Leaders need to lead by example and be authentic in their communications. I understand that there is increasing interest in self-managing organisations. I would need to study more about these to be convinced that these are the way forwards. Leaders needs to adapt to the changing community world if they are to retain their power and lead their organisations successfully. Leaders do need to provide an enabling infrastructure to “release” the full potential of all people in their organisations.

Q3: “Collective change occurs when individuals and small diverse groups engage one another in the presence of many others doing the same”. What is your experience of this? What is your own personal best practice, if any?

A3: The YE example earlier was a great example of this as all staff were involved and we could use the same language re “moments of truth”, “customer” and extraordinary service. The challenge here is how we do the “presence” bit. There is an increasing need to do this virtually given the increasing complexity of how and where people are working.

Q4: “We choose depth over speed and relatedness over scale”. Comment on this sentence in any way that comes to mind.

A4: My views on this have changed dramatically over the past few years having done MOOCs and WOL circles and virtual book clubs. In the space of a 12 week WOL circle starting as complete strangers you can rapidly get to know those other people and do next circles repeatedly to get depth, speed, relatedness and scale. Just checkout the #WOL hashtag on Twitter to see what the gang are talking about. Part of this is about how and where people meet, the structure of those meetings and the shared commitment to each other within the circle. I would cite Bosch and the way on which WOL circles have grown from one circle to something that now has visibility and support by the main board of that company – a successful grassroots initiative that has impacted that organisation.

Q5: “While we keep our own point of view, we leave our self-interest at the door and show up to learn rather than to advocate.” What do you feel about this?

A5: Depends on the nature of the gathering. Yes I always want to learn but if the objective of the gathering is more about communicating a message then that will take priority. Hopefully that message has developed over time with the involvement of others. It is hard to leave self-interest at the door but in some cases you need to disclose that so people know where you are coming from and what your drivers are. I am now at the point where I am far more interested in the other person in conversations and happy to get to know them via questions and not sharing the air time equally. Even a few days ago, I offered to facilitate someone through a conversation to generate their 50 Facts About Me WOL circle exercise (I was not in their circle). 10 minutes later we were doing a Zoom call where I asked questions about that person’s life for 1h 40m – an amazing conversation with minimal info about me being communicated because that conversation was not about me.

Q6: Are you a traditional problem solver or more into possibilities per the explanation in this chapter?

A6: As ever, I would want to say problem solver and possibility explorer. But yes much more of a traditional problem solver than these other techniques being explained in the book. As a project manager my whole life is around objectives, tasks, resources, products/deliverables, issues, risks etc. I do not think that I would need to jettison all this to use these new techniques but could see me using them in various points in the initiation and later stages of a project.

Q7: What is your response to the new take on “action” explained in this chapter?

A7: As a project manager I am aware that actions and tasks come in various shapes and sizes. Every activity would have some form of tangible or intangible product/deliverable as the output. This discipline of being clear about what we are doing task-wise would include any of the activities in the chapter and defining the products likewise but there would need to be some way of assessing the product we have “created” by a particular activity e.g. are we more related now than when we started.

My notes from the book

thinking that we can programme and problem-solve our way into a vision does not take into account the complexity & relational nature of community

undervalues the importance of context and linguistic, conversational nature of community

to see change in our communities, we must let go of the conventional or received wisdom about how change occurs

meaning we reject or seriously question the beliefs that communal change will occur in following circumstance:-

we count on an aggregation of individual changes

large scale training programmes and change efforts fail because individual lives are changed but culture & community are unmoved
they miss that there is a collective body
need a communal structure of belonging that produces foundation for whole system to move

we think in terms of scale and speed

something shifts on large scale only after long period of small steps, organised around small groups patient enough to learn and experiment and learn again
when we demand more speed and scale, we are making a coded argument against anything important being any different

we stay focused on large systems & top leaders to implement better problem solving, clearer goals and visions & better control of the process

transforming action is always local, customised, unfolding, emergent
role of leaders: not to be better role models or to drive change but to create the structures & experiences that bring citizens together to identify & solve their own issues

communal transformation does occur when we accept the following beliefs:-

we focus on the structure of how we gather & the context in which our gatherings take place

collective change occurs when individuals and small diverse groups engage one another in the presence of many others doing the same
comes from the knowledge that what is occurring in one place is similarly happening in other spaces, especially ones where I do not know what they are doing
this is the value of a network or even a network of networks which is today’s version of a social movement
by doing this, we declare our faith in restoration
does need to be followed up with the usual actions & problem solving but it is in the engagement with and in witness of others that something collective shifts
keeping this focus is especially critical when individuals and institutions meet across boundaries

need to structure a way of crossing boundaries so that people become connected to those they are not used to being in a room with
every gathering in composition & structure needs to be example of the future we want to create
if achieved in this gathering then that future has occurred today!

we work hard on getting the questions right

the questions themselves are more important than the answers
primary questions for community transformation

how do we choose to be together?

what do we want to create together?

different from the primary questions of individual transformation

how do I choose to be in whatever setting I find myself in?
what am I called to do in this world?

we choose depth over speed and relatedness over scale

what do we want to create together is deceptively complicated – implies long journey crossing social, class, organisational boundaries
depth takes time & willingness to engage
belonging requires courage to set aside our usual notions of action & measuring success by numbers touched
while we keep our own point of view, we leave our self-interest at the door and show up to learn rather than to advocate
these are the conditions whereby we find new places where we belong

Choosing Possibility Over Problem-Solving

creating a future is different from defining a future

talked earlier re valuing gifts & possibilities over needs & problems, can now be more detailed about what this looks like

typical/trad way of creating a future is vision then goals then blueprint to achieve them = destination strategy for solving problems

strategic elements of trad problem solving:-

identify a need
study & analyse need
search for solutions
establish goals e.g low hanging fruit, pilot
bring others on board
implement
loop back

essence is belief in blueprint

we believe eg that in building a community we are in effect building and operating a clock

limitations of clockwork strategy for future seen in creating a vision – one of the most popular forms of community problem solving

often assumes linear path to future

most visions based on belief that we know what a healthy community looks like

no clear vision, detailed plan, committed group of leaders have power to bring this image of future into existence without continued engagement & involvement of citizens

BUT in most cases, citizen engagement ends when plan is in place

implementation put in hands of professionals

rarely builds interdependence or strengthens the social fabric of a place

what brings fresh future into being is citizens who are willing to self-organise

an alternative future needs the investment of citizens – leaders not in top positions – willing to pay economic & emotional price that creating something really new requires

real challenge for a community is to discover & create the means for engaging citizens that brings new possibility into being

more specifically … what gives power to communal possibility is imagination & authorship of citizens led through a process of engagement

an organic & relational process

this is what creates a structure of belonging

more critical than vision and plan

example of Covington (place) setting community priorities

problem solving becomes a means not an end

primary work is to shift context, language & thinking about possibility within which problem solving takes place

needs us to change our view of action – so that what was viewed as means to an end becomes action

perhaps purpose of problems is to give us excuse to come together

Expanding Our Idea Of Action

just coming together has to provide some movement towards the future

each time we meet, we need to feel we have moved the action forward

community has a purpose beyond relationship

what qualifies as action?

beware too narrow a definition
e.g.

meetings to strengthen our relationship
learning something of value
our requests and what we can offer
say what gifts we can bring to the table
agreeing on what matters to us

understanding these are as valuable as agreeing concrete actions

if shared goal is to get outcome like this then good

without these elements of connection, the trad tasks lose their urgency & have to be constantly incentivised to be sustained

the practical becomes an excuse to be together which is needed to sustain belonging over time

Part 2: The Alchemy of Belonging

My notes from the book

Certain properties of collective transformation create the conditions for greater belonging and stronger social fabric.

“To gain the kingdom of heaven is to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen, and to know the unknowable.”
Hawaiian Queen Liliuokalani to her daughter, after she saw the end of her monarchy

we can now be specific about how to produce a sense of belonging (in the following chapters that follow):-

leadership is convening
the small group is the unit of transformation
questions are more transforming than answers
six conversations materialise belonging
hospitality, the welcoming of strangers, is central
physical and social space support belonging

Chapter 8: Leadership is Convening

My research and application notes from the book

See answers to the Book Club questions.

Book Club Questions

This chapter says lots of things about leaders and leadership that confronts conventional wisdom and thinking about leadership. We will explore this in the questions.

Q1: In communal transformation, leadership is about intention, convening, valuing relatedness and presenting choices. It is not a personality characteristic or a matter of style. What is your view of these statements?

A1: All leadership is about intention – aiming to do something to go somewhere however clearly-defined or otherwise. The best leaders always want to engage with their people. Leaders do value their relatedness – interesting that some people teach that leaders should not be friends with who they lead. I understand that in part but do not fully agree with that. In terms of presenting choices, ultimately that may well be a leader’s role but the great leaders look for options from the whole team seeking views from all. Indeed, often, leaders need to make final decisions on the option that we will adopt and go with. There are all sorts of leaders in all walks of life so I do not believe there is one universal style that fits all leaders. Ditto with personality characteristics. I believe that leaders are not all born leaders and that people can learn how to lead and be better leaders.

Q2: What is your view about everyone in this model having the capability of being a leader?

A2: One example. Having used John Maxwell’s Million Leaders Mandate leadership materials for a 3-year programme with a wide cross-section of people including single mums and NHS consultants in the same room, leadership can be taught to and learned and applied by all. People do need to have the desire to be a leader but it does not have to be dressed up in an intimidating way to put people off! Some of the deepest chats I have had with people have been in the context of leadership training and development.

Q3: Leadership begins with understanding that every gathering is opportunity to deepen accountability & commitment through engagement. If you were to believe or you do believe this, how would that impact your leadership.

Leadership for me ultimately is about taking action, people committing to doing things and getting people engaged via clarity of the leader’s thinking and involvement of others. In a leadership role, I want to marshal the collective wisdom and views of the group and be focused on the objective at hand. Even in social settings, I would seek to do this in appropriate ways.

Q4: Prior to reading this chapter, what were your views of leaders and leadership?

A4: I have been in a variety of leadership roles all through my life. I am grateful for all the input on leadership I have had in all contexts of my life. I am a student of leadership in all areas of society. We can learn from areas that we have had no direct experience of. We need more leaders everywhere. People taking ownership and casting vision for a better future and engaging other people. I see leadership primarily as a galvanising role. The chapter has been challenging but remains consistent with my view of leadership. I would say, though, that the author does appear to have a downer on traditional views of leadership or may be I would paraphrase that as autocratic leadership.

Q5: Describe the leader's roles outlined in the Art of Convening section of this chapter and comment on these in any way you choose.

Create context nurturing alternative future based on gifts, generosity, accountability & commitment:-

Leaders need to set context in terms of where we are at currently to get a shared understanding.
Leaders need to paint pictures of the future in conjunction with their people.
Leaders need to understand the gifts and talents and experience of their people.
Leaders foster an atmosphere of giving generously rather than taking or matching (per Adam Grant’s work).
Leaders hold themselves and their people likewise accountable to each other as a 2-way thing.
Leaders look for commitment in themselves and their people in appropriate ways.

Initiate/ convene convos that shift people’s experience, which happens by way people are brought together & nature of qs used to engage them

Leaders seek to move the game on by bringing various and disparate groups together in creative ways.
Leaders ask more open questions than closed questions.
Leaders ideally will speak last in conversations so as not to blinker conversations.
Leaders attempt to mix people up to foster cross-fertilisation of ideas and thereby remove silo thinking.
Leaders encourage people to ask the “why” question to go deep but to also ask all the other questions: when, who, how, what, where.

Listen, pay attention, ability to say “I don’t know”

Leaders are always listening inside and outside their organisation.
Leaders ask questions and listen deeply to people’s responses.
Leaders encourage people to ask them questions.
Leaders readily admit when they do not know something and commit to finding out when doing so is appropriate.

My notes from the book

in communal transformation, leadership is about:-

intention
convening
valuing relatedness
presenting choices

it is not:-

a personality characteristic
a matter of style

and therefore requires nothing more than what all of us already have

do not need to look for leadership as if it was scarce/ lost or needs to be trained into us by experts

if the trad form of leadership has failed, may be we do not need more of it

search for great leadership prime example of how we take something that does not work and try harder at it

reconstruct leader as social architect – not leader as special person – but leader as citizen willing to do those things that have capacity to initiate something new in the world

can be learned by all of us

one who designs experiences for others than in themselves are examples of our desired future – experiences are the way people in the room interact with each other

the created experiences need to be designed so that relatedness, accountability & commitment are every moment available, experienced & demonstrated = relational leadership

create conditions for civic/ institutional engagement via their power to name the debate & design gatherings

“gathering” NOT “meeting” – something with more significance than the common sense of “meeting”

Engagement Is The Point

leadership begins with understanding that every gathering is opportunity to deepen accountability & commitment through engagement

functions of every gathering:-

address stated purpose, its business issues
be an occasion for each person to decide to become engaged as an owner

most current leadership training asserts:-

leader & top are essential – role models possessing special set of personal skills
task of leader to define destination & blueprint to get there
leader’s work is to bring others on board – enrol, align, inspire
leaders provide for oversight, measurement & training needed (as defined by leaders)

each of these elevates leaders as elite group, singularly worthy of special development, coaching, incentives

look valid but have unintended consequences

when dissatisfied with leader, we try harder to find new one who will perform more perfectly in the very way that led to our past disappointment

creates burden of isolation, entitlement, passivity that our communities cannot afford to carry

what is needed is for issues/plans to have more impact that comes from citizen accountability & commitment

engagement is the means .. task of leader is to produce that engagement

The Art of Convening

in this model of leadership, leader’s roles:-

create context nurturing alternative future based on gifts, generosity, accountability & commitment
inititiate/ convene convos that shift people’s experience, which happens by way people are brought together & nature of qs used to engage them
listen, pay attention, ability to say “I don’t know”

engagement and accountability from that happens when we ask people to be in charge of their own experience & act on wellbeing of whole

new convos via qs that demand personal investment

this is what triggers the choice to be accountable for things we can have power over, even tho we may have no control

listening is critical role of leaders

may be single most powerful action leader can take

yes they need to talk but listening is a greater service

restorative & produces energy rather than consumes it

leadership creates accountability as it confronts people with their freedom

The Convening Capacity of Elected Officials

elected officials are a special case in how we think about leadership & art of convening

they are in a difficult role – become service providers/ suppliers

relate to them as consumers not citizens

we want them to solve issues for us that we should be solving ourselves

this is a disservice to community even tho citizens love it

they are partners with citizens not suppliers

their most useful role should be to bring citizens together – seriously underutilised

legislation would then become the exception

primary responsibility of local government:-

sustain/ improve infrastructure of its community – well-trained to do this, mostly excellent at it
build the social fabric of the community – huge challenges to get citizens connecting with each other or be engaged as producers of the future

need to move from patriarchal/ consumer model to partnership model taking advantage of power of small group

the idea that leadership is primarily about convening is a hard sell

normal understanding is leaders create followers

requires us to take parenting out of power

leadership has job of caring for the common good, for well-being of all

Chapter 9: The Small Group is the Unit of Transformation

My research and application notes from the book

See answers to the Book Club questions.

Book Club Questions

Q1: What is the power of the small group in community or organisational transformation efforts for you?

A1: Each person has a voice and can be heard. Encourages all people to speak. Mixing up people enables you to understand other people’s point of view. Helps apply a wider and larger story to our own individual contexts. Ability to hear more voices and to question those voices more easily than in a large group. Makes the subjects being communicated and discussed from the platform more real than any perceived party line.

Q2: What did you learn about how to setup small groups in the context of a larger group?

A2: Need to incorporate small groups in every large gathering. Needs to be switching between both constantly. Interesting note on availability of mics. Good to name people speaking and thank them for having the courage to speak. No more than 12 people (even that seems large!). Need to have some way of the small groups’ views being shared in the wider gathering.

Q3: “The small group is the unit of transformation”. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

A3: Transformation means that the organisation is changing but the organisation can only change if individual people change and people are encouraged to change in the smaller groups or teams in the organisation including project teams as well as line managed teams. I still see this as 3-levels of change – individual, team/group and whole organisation.

Q4: What do you like and not like about large groups?

A4: Hearing a message “live” at the same time as every other person in the larger group is powerful. Feeling part of a bigger story. The power of the orator on the platform to motivate. Different dynamics in large and small group – both have their pros and cons. No right to reply. No discussion or harder to discuss, Easier for people speaking from platform or elsewhere to “grandstand” so not good!

My notes from the book

communal transformation takes most visible form when we gather

groups together in same place when shift in context noticed, felt & reinforced

each gathering takes on special importance as leading indicator of future

each gathering is place where context can be shifted, relatedness can be built, new convos introduced

when we gather we draw conclusions about what kind of community we live in

we change the world one room at a time – becomes an example of the future we want to inhabit

the way we structure the assembly of peers/leaders as critical as the issue/concerns we come together to address

a conventional structure for meeting in Robert’s Rules of Order, good at:-

efficiency
containing conflict
dampening energy

our meetings typically pay primary attention to:-

explanation
persuasion
problem solving
NOT engagement
and drain our aliveness

for community building, we want to give much/more attention to that which creates energy as we give to content which usually exhausts energy

creating energy is critical – in our gatherings we have most control/influence over shifting the context & public convo

the way we design our gatherings is the only way we can bring into existence the possibility of authentic community

The Power of the Small Group

all change includes work in 1/more small groups

the small group is the unit of transformation

allows every voice to be heard

intimacy is created in groups of 3-12

intimate convo makes the process personal

helps people overcome isolation & experience a sense of belonging

even in room of small groups, we have intimacy in the small group and are brought into connection with all others

small group is bridge between our own individual existence and the larger community

in small groups we discover that we are not alone, others can understand what is on our mind, if not agree with us, is what creates a sense of belonging

when this happens in large group of small groups in same place, the collective possibility begins to take form

evidence that change is possible

in small group people often become more authentic and personal with each other than in other settings

designing small group convos so simple it rarely receives attention/ importance it deserves

small groups offers self-correcting quality when things are not going well – ask small groups in the moment to state what is happening e.g.:

“form small groups of 4 and talk about how this meeting is going and to what extent we are getting what we came for”

doing this is acknowledgement that critical wisdom resides in the community

every large group meeting needs to use small groups to create connection & move the action forward

The Role of the Large Group

when more than 20 in room, need to move between small and large groups, ditto if 1,000

the whole room needs to hear individual voices and what other small groups are talking about

at these times, speaker needs to physically stand and be named for people to know who is speaking

use mics so all can hear – not just mics for hosts

not a standing mic that people walk to

ask the person to repeat what they have said slowly (when powerful input)

acknowledge people for courage for speaking out

these techniques under banner of “large group interventions” – mainly standard facilitator techniques

Conversations that Count

to create community of accountability & belonging, need convos where:-

an intimate & authentic relatedness is experienced
the world is shifted through invitation rather than mandate
focus is on communal possibility
shift in ownership of this place, even though others are in charge
diversity of thinking and dissent are given space
commitments are made without barter
gifts of each person & our community are acknowledged & valued

these are central to communal transformation

lots of similar discussion going on in the world but here we are aiming to build community rather than personal development or improving relationships + pointedly designed to confront the issue of accountability & commitment

===========================

Chapter 10: Questions Are More Transforming Than Answers

My research and application notes from the book

See responses to the questions below.

Book Club Questions

Q1: What examples in your own life have you got of when doing something without having a clear destination in mind was instrumental in you making more progress than you expected?

A1: This is happening as I respond to people proactively and reactively with ideas for new learning experiences or helping others and then forming specific goals as we go. At work, in the main, all my work relates to managing systems development and implementation projects where there is an overarching goal/target and the whole point of my involvement is to lead the project to make that happen in conjunction with colleagues, clients and suppliers. Definitely trying to be better at wayfinding than always route planning (as per GPS) as the end point is not always clear and easier to change direction if already moving.

Q2: What life-changing conversations with another person have you had that you have been reminded of as you read this chapter or are prompted by this question?

A2: 1:1 with Sonsoles (executive team coach) during my first ever WOL circle. Life-changing but I still need to work through all the implications of that convo. Significant progress but still answers needed to some of her deep questions re “who is Simon? why is Simon, Simon?” from back in Q1 2017. Love being coached informally and would welcome more of it. Listening to a Marshall Goldsmith talk at the moment that I need to pause, process and apply.

Q3: Are you more of a question-er than an answer-er? Explain your response.

A3: Lots of my life is taken up with questions to understand a current position and what the problems or opportunities are present for the individual, team to tackle. I am relentless when I am on a quest to understand context and possible ways forward. But I am also an answer-er. Love Twitter Chats for precisely this reason. Trying to answer questions definitively more rapidly when that is appropriate – what is my best response to this question regardless of the consequences. Starting to encourage people to ask me more penetrating questions about my life and career and speak into my life from a position of getting to know me at the same time.

Q4: Before reading this chapter, what is your best practice for asking questions? This may be the first time in the recent past that you have considered this.

A4: Actually asking questions? Ideally open ones not closed ones at the start of a connecting/project relationship. Not staying on the main subject of a convo – asking wider questions about the person and their organisation and their challenges. Still trying to listen more. I am significantly better at this than at any time in my past. No longer feel any need to contribute back to talk about me unless relevant in the chat. Become way more curious about other people. Becoming deeper in my questioning and listening to better understand how I can help (on own, team or organisation). Always keen to suggest rather than advise re solutions or next steps and making sure the other person has agency in making their own decisions. I am wrestling slightly with the view that coaches should never advise. People who only ever ask questions do my head in. I want to know what you think even in a coaching relationship.

Q5: What examples can you think of where questions have been the core part of a product/ deliverable/ presentation/ book etc that you have seen?

A5: Books I remember:-

I remember a book by Ruth Dearnley (part of the Spring Harvest Planning Group at the time) from years ago which was all questions.
“One Question: Life-Changing Answers from Today’s Leading Voices”; Ken Coleman, an amazing array of people he asked one question of (Google Books Preview)
“Talk To Me: How to Ask Better Questions, Get Better Answers, and Interview Anyone Like a Pro”; Dean Nelson;

Q6: What is your emotional response to this quote in the chapter:
“Questions are fateful. They determine destinations. They are the chamber through which destiny calls.”
(Godwin Hlatshwayo).

A6: Defo believe that it is people asking questions of themselves or others that stirs people up to do new things. Lots of this recently when reading and applying Liz Ryan’s Reinvention Roadmap. Making me wonder that I need people to say “why not?” to me when I cop out. Asking questions relentlessly a good way of clarifying “now” and “what if”.

Q7: What came to mind when you read the section of the chapter listing questions with little power and then the questions with great power?

A7: Never thought in this amount of detail about this but I do try to ask searching questions to open someone up in various work and play contexts. The Little Power questions are effectively the ones that I have/need to ask of all the projects and work I manage to ensure we make progress. Does that mean that the projects can only happen when the more powerful questions have been asked?

Q8: “Questions themselves are an art form worthy of a lifetime of study.” What was your position on this before reading this chapter and what, if anything has changed in your position as a result of reading this chapter?

A8: Held questions in high regard. Reminded of film stars being asked the same questions repeatedly all over the world as they sell their films. Making me wonder how I would ask different questions. Defo made me think I need to more actively consider and construct the questions that I ask and recognising their importance in helping things/people move forward.

Q9: Think of a very recent or imminent gathering of people that you were or will be a part of and answer the “questions that can open up the space for a different future:-

What is the commitment you hold that brought you into this room?
Why was it important for you to show up today?
What is the price you or others pay for being here today?
How valuable do you plan for this effort to be?
What is the crossroads you face at this stage of the game?
What is the story you keep telling about the problems of this community?
What are the gifts you hold that have not been brought fully into the world?
What is your contribution to the very thing you complain about?
What is it about you or your team, group, or neighbourhood that no one knows?

A9: thinking of one series of meetings specifically for this question.

1 – regular catchup on progress, the only time I have to run through and find out what I need to know re status, issues, plan

2 – my only formal opportunity to have this convo with these people so vital

3 – mutual agreement for it to take place

4 – to help me understand the lie of the land for the week ahead, try to cover everything if I possibly can

5 – they could be improved. how, why, what, who – do I just leave it as-is or do something about it

6 - I could have a rant about it to myself about how our working relationships could be better. Seems stacked in the other parties’ favour and I have to work their way.

7 – Lots. Recurring theme over past 2 years has been understanding all this especially what I am good at and give me joy outside of work that I could bring into work, if possible.

8 – Not calling it out, just accepting it as the way we do things round here,

9 – that i feel this way!! that it could be more effective and indeed the whole end-to-end process could be way better

Q10: How do you feel having answered the questions in Q9? Did any of the answers surprise you?

A10: As always with me, stop being the victim and do something about it, these questions do make me think more deeply about situations

Q11: The setup of a gathering was mentioned as being key to enabling transformation. What are you learning with this material? What do you intend to apply of this and why?

A11: That it is so key! As I have said earlier, I do take this seriously but not as seriously as the book author. I don’t think I have met anyone who takes this more seriously apart from those who use space to deliver their services eg facilitators. Also never been involved in whole room layout for walkthroughs in war room-type setups. I can think of one example where someone new to the org i was so skilled in this area I felt intimidated (it was to do with brown paper meetings for process analysis.

Q12: When you prepare for and facilitate a gathering of people, how ready are you to receive unpopular responses and do you encourage those today?

A12: I always want the truth and do not shy away from getting that even if I have to ask awkward questions. Some meetings are called to specifically get such issues identified and shared so we can some something about it. Some people are in such a rush that they do not want to get into the detail.

Q13: How are you in being “advice-free”? For part of your response, you may want to talk about any experiences of being a coach or a person being coached.

A13: I am increasingly thinking about this very issue. I find that people who only ask questions infuriate me. I need people to bring their responses to the table. I do want people to speak into my life after knowing something about me and thereby add value. I try to operate the same way myself with others. I never advise someone to do X but I will suggest options depending on the context.

Q14: The sequencing of different types of questions was discussed in this chapter. Explain how you go about planning the questions for a gathering today and how that may have changed in your mind now.

A14: Always try to get the context questions asked first to start the convo and understand the situation and from there to dive into the detail as appropriate. Can work the other way from detail up especially if the problem/opportunity that we are addressing looks like it has a cause in the detail.

My notes from the book

the major theme that transformation and restoration occur through power of language and how we speak & listen to each other is abstract

need to realise at basic level that we need a new convo

you may say these convos already happening but the subjects listed previously are rarely pursued in a way that causes real shift

need to identify a way to do this

the convo is not so much about the community’s future but about the future itself

cf the practice of yoga itself is your life

your way of doing the practice itself is the breakthrough so there is nothing to wait for re a future end point

same with certain convos, having them in a restorative context is as much the transformation as any place those convos may lead you

the right small group convo releases aliveness / intention into the community – creating the condition where symptoms, fragmentation & breakdown can be healed

only in this context and communal aliveness that our skill at problem solving will make the difference

convos that evoke accountability & commitment can best be producing through deciding to value questions more than answers – choosing to put as much thought into questions as traditionally we have given to answers

The Construction Of Questions

qs are the essential tools of engagement

the means by which we are confronted with our freedom

if you want to change the context, find powerful questions

questions create the space for something new to emerge

answers, esp those that respond to need for quick results, while satisfying, shut down the discussion & future shuts down with them

most leaders are well-schooled in providing answers & remain indifferent/naive to questions

e.g. how many presentations have you seen that are full of questions rather than answers ….

we confuse exploring a question with talk that has no meaning – opinions, positions, argument, analysis, explanation & defence

such meetings may be interesting but that is not the same as powerful

powerful questions produce accountability & commitment in the answering

questions that take us to statements that have power simply in the saying

examples of such statements:-

requests
offers
declarations
expressions of forgiveness
confession
gratitude
welcome

all these are memorable & have transformative power

without strong questions, we collude with people who might attend the gathering and choose not to join in cocreating the value of the event

the nature of the questions either keeps the existing system in place or brings alternative future into the room

questions alone are not enough

what matters:-

context
mindset that people bring into the room
how people came to be in the room
the room itself
social structure of how people talk to each other
action of leader/convenor

“Questions are fateful. They determine destinations. They are the chamber through which destiny calls.”
(Godwin Hlatshwayo)

Questions With Little Power

traditional questions have little power to create alternative future

the world constantly asks these, they carry no power:-

How do we get people to be more committed?
How do we get others to be more responsible?
How do we get people to come on board and to do the right thing?
How do we hold those people accountable?
How do we get others to buy in to our vision?
How do we get those people to change?
How much will it cost, and where do we get the money?
How do we negotiate for something better?
What new policy or legislation will move our interests forward?
Where is it working?
Who has solved this elsewhere, and how do we import that knowledge?
How do we find and develop better leaders?
Why aren’t those people in the room?

if we answer these questions directly, we are supporting the mindset that an alternative future can be:-

negotiated
engineered
controlled into existence

how?

they call us to try harder at what we have been doing
they keep us apart
deepen our isolation

the questions have no power, they only carry force

questions designed to change other people are the wrong questions because they reinforce the problem-solving model

the questions are also a response to the wish to create a predictable future

but if we take uncertainty out it is no longer the future but the present projected forward

what distinguishes the future is its unpredictability & mystery

Questions With Great Power

achieving accountability & commitment entails use of questions through which, in act of answering them, we become co-creators of the world

our answers to the questions do not matter – the qs have an impact even if the response is to refuse to answer them

powerful qs are the ones that cause you to become an actor as soon as you answer them or even reflect on them

you no longer have luxury of being a spectator of whatever it is you are concerned about

you are guilty of being an actor & participant in this world

not a pleasant thought but the moment we accept the idea that we have created the world, we have the power to change it

powerful qs also express the reality that change, like life, is difficult & unpredictable … they open up the convo

qualities of great qs:-

ambiguous: requires each person to bring themselves to the q
personal: all passion, commitment, connection grow out of what is most personal – we need to create the space for the personal
evokes anxiety: all that matters makes us anxious; it is our wish to escape from anxiety that steals our aliveness; if no edge to q, there is no power

qs themselves are an art form worthy of a lifetime of study

qs that can open up the space for a different future:-

What is the commitment you hold that brought you into this room?
Why was it important for you to show up today?
What is the price you or others pay for being here today?
How valuable do you plan for this effort to be?
What is the crossroads you face at this stage of the game?
What is the story you keep telling about the problems of this community?
What are the gifts you hold that have not been brought fully into the world?
What is your contribution to the very thing you complain about?
What is it about you or your team, group, or neighbouhood that no one knows?

by answering these qs, we become more:-

accountable
committed
vulnerable
& when we verbalise these to others, we grow more intimate and connected

common theme in the qs is they invite us to be:-

personal
disclosing
vulnerable

these are the adhesives of belonging

we are more connected even if we do not answer the q

The Setup Is Everything

once you have the question, the setup is as important as the q

guard against solution finding & advice giving

setup provides context

we are creating space for:-

relatedness
accountability
gifts
generosity

being precise about setup is an essential leadership task

elements of setup:-

name the distinctions
give permission for unpopular answers
avoid advice … replace with curiosity
ask lower-risk qs first

Name Distinctions

each q has quality that distinguishes it from default mindset

“how valuable an experience do you plan to have in this event?” vs “how valuable an experience do you want to have?”

no power in wanting or predicting …. the power is in deciding

even if plan for no value, you have taken ownership

ownership more important than results

ownership is full membership in this community

in every convo, the issue is the same … moving toward choice and accountability for the well-being of the whole

if we are not aware of the distinction that makes the question powerful, we should not use the q

Give Permission For Unpopular Answers

when people are asked a question, we are conditioned to seek the right answer to feel good or to fit in for the sake of belonging

encourage them to answer honestly by naming possible unpopular answers & supporting their expression

all we care about is people own their experience, not that the experience be a good one

Create an Advice-Free Zone

tell people not to be helpful

being helpful & giving advice are really ways to control others

advice is convo stopper

in community building we want to sub curiosity for advice

do not ask qs with advice hidden in them

beware prescriptions

requests for advice is a way that people surrender their sovereignty .. if we answer, we affirm their servitude, that they do not have the capacity to create the world from their own resources … we support their escape from their own freedom

when asked such a question, respond by asking e.g. and why does that matter so much to you? … is the kindest q you can ask

is how advice/ help gets sub-ed for curiosity

fail to do this, tomorrow becomes just like yesterday

Ask Lower-Risk Questions First

a good design starts with less demanding qs & ends with the more difficult ones

convos of ownership, commitment & gifts are high risk, require greater trust to have meaning

discussions of crossroads, possibility, dissent are easier & come earlier

Summing Up – 6 Conversations

My notes from the book

the strategy for alternative future is to focus on ways to shift context, build relatedness, create space for a more intentional possibility

the new convo is almost always initiated in the form of a q

convos that have no power and entail no accountability:-

telling the history of how we got here
giving explanations & opinions
blaming & complaining
making reports & descriptions
carefully defining terms & conditions
retelling our story again & again
seeking quick action

convos producing something more than just talk:-

invitation
possibility
ownership
dissent
commitment
gifts

each of these convos leads to the others

any one held wholeheartedly takes us to & resolves all the others

when any are absent, it is just talk no matter how urgent the cause, how important the plan, how elegant the answer

Chapter 11: Invitation

My research and application notes from the book

See responses to the questions below.

Book Club Questions

Q1: The chapter talks about our homes as being places of safety and where strangers are welcomed. Talk about your home and how you use it for others, And if you do not, why not?

A1: My wife and I have had 2 houses during our marriage so far. Our 1st house was a through terrace and therefore very small. We did have people round for meals but space was cramped. We moved to our current house 4 years ago. This one has more space with the ground floor dining/living room having glass doors that slide back the width of the house onto decking onto grass. This is an amazing space for hospitality at any time of year. We love having people round for meals and chats and relaxing. The kids love that too for their friends. My wife is amazing at cooking and baking and can put on food at any time planned/unplanned. We believe totally that our home is a safe place and that all are welcome. We love to make people feel at home and for them to be the real them when they are with us and to leave us in a better place than when they arrived. We love to make people feel welcome and not self-conscious at all when they are with us.

Q2: List as many invitations as you can that you have been asked to attend or do something in all areas of your life and say something about each one.

A2: A summary list:-

weddings
church meetings
films
work meetings
project meetings
ad-hoc calls
parties
hosting Twitter Chats
webinars
hosting webinars
meals
pick a fave song for church
pray every evening in September for church
join a WOL circle
join a book club
workshops

Some of these I have no choice but to accept.

Where I have the option to accept or not, I will check my availability and understand what the invitation is for and query if it is not clear.

I generally feel under no obligation to accept unless it is contractual in any way and even then if it not appropriate for me to attend I will say so.

Q3: List as many invitations as you can that you have "sent" asking people to attend or do something in any area of your life and say something about each one.

A3: A summary list:-

Culture Club (watch and discuss a film at church)
join our Life Group
join my WOL circle
join my community on Workplace by Facebook]
join my book club
here is my reading list for the year, want to join me in reading any of them
lunch with us at home
meal out
come to Spring Harvest with us
do some 1:1 coaching/ mentoring with me
work meeting
project meeting
come round to ours for the day
come to Bolton Abbey for the day with us

Many of these are planned ahead of time. Some are emergency now-type meetings.

Some are to named individuals 1:1 or a wider group or public.

Some invitations are online, others face-to-face.

Some invitations are spoken by me, others are spoken by others on my behalf.

Q4: How has this chapter changed your view about invitations?

A4: Reminded of the need to plan invitations carefully and who to invite and why. Reminded that people will be giving up their time if they accept and therefore am I always clear why I have invited someone and are they clear.

Q5: How do you normally respond when someone accepts or rejects your invitation?

A5: Usually delighted when people accept. Getting more thick-skinned about people rejecting. It is my responsibility to invite and the other person’s responsibility to accept or reject. I would hate people rejecting based on an unclear or wrong understanding of why they were invited.

Q6: "Invitation" as a way of being. Discuss.

A6: Increasingly if I am doing something, I always consider if this could be done with others as a learning opportunity or as a doing life together thing.

Q7: List the properties of an invitation from the chapter. Think of your recent invitations, how would you compare those with the content of the chapter?

A7: The book lists the following properties of an invitation:-

state the reason for the gathering

at its best, must contain a hurdle / demand if accepted

this is not to be inhospitable

but to make even act of invitation an example of the interdependence we want to experience

a request not only to show up but to engage

I am probably better at this in work situations than social situations. The former are more formal where I need to be clear as to the purpose of the thing I am inviting people to and why them specifically. I do always say why I am doing the thing I am inviting someone to. I am usually clear what each person needs to contribute to the meeting e.g. people’s names for specific agenda items, input content and any prep required from anyone. I believe I could be better at both 2 and 3 in the list above and be clearer by so doing.

Q8: Verbalise how you decide who to invite to something. You may want to use the "whole room" section of the chapter to "help".

A8: Interesting as it is often not always down to me to make that selection. I will seek input from others and offer my own view for them to consider re agree/disagree. I will also be clear as to why the specific individuals are on my list. Where I do not know enough about the organisation I am working with, I will state the kind of person I need re seniority, decision-making authority, knowledge etc.

Q9: Some invites are public and not to named individuals How would fully applying the properties of an invitation in the chapter change those invitations?

A9: I could be clearer in these too and I suspect I am clearer on the cost/engagement bit with named people I am inviting rather than the public ones. This is making me wonder whether I would have greater success with more open invitations if I was clearer on those things!

Q10: How do you invite people? Use as many examples as you can remember.

A10: The list:-

face-to-face
email
Tweets
Facebook posts
LinkedIn posts
In Slack teams
In Workplace by Facebook communities
phone call
video call

When inviting people, this may be the sole reason for the contact or the invite could simply be offered as part of the conversation etc.

My notes from the book

entering convos for structuring belonging

caveat: real life is circuitous, does not develop how convos appear on page

deciding which convos to have in what sequence will vary with context of gathering

all convos lead to each other so sequence not critical

but the sequence in the book in rough order that aligns with logic of people’s experience

Conversation 1: The Invitation

hospitality – the welcoming of strangers – is essence of a restorative community

cf homes as place of safety, where people belong, safe from harm

our hospitality begins with an invitation

invite for all those who have an interest in the future you are imagining

who you invite is a big choice

invitation itself is an act of generosity

the mere act of inviting may have more meaning than anything that happens in the gathering – even for those who do not show up

invite is not just a request to attend .. it is a call to create an alternative future – to join in the possibility we have declared

the question is “what is the invitation we can make for people to participate in creating a community of connectedness and purpose, regardless of their story or past actions”

The Distinction for the Invitation Conversation

distinction here between invitation & more typical ways of achieving change – mandate & persuasive marketing

latter driven usually by how to control people

what is distinct about an invitation is that it can be refused, at no cost to the one refusing

authentic invitation operates without promising incentives or rewards

lack of inducements for people to come creates a level playing field

when use strong sell or language of enrolling adds subtle pressure that in a small but important way blurs the freely taken decision to say yes

real transformation happens only through choice – cannot be sold or mandated

esp true of transformation in community

cf orgs where if you do not show up you violate a contract leading to consequences

in an authentic community, citizens decide anew every single time whether to show up

if people do not come, continue to invite, there are no consequences for not accepting, they are always welcome

lack of consequences important – means that when they do show up it means something

The Risks of Invitation

they might not show up

affects our decision to show up

worry that what we hope for the future will not happen, nothing will get done

if mandatory attendance, just lip service to participation

the future will just be like the past

The Radical Aspect of Invitation

if essence of community is to create structures of belonging, we are constantly inviting people who are strangers to us, and one another, into the circle

an invitation is antidote to our projection onto those we think are the problem

we tale back our projection by extending ourselves to strangers

we make the invitation in the face of :-

own isolation
having been waiting to be invited
wanting others to take the first step
wanting others to reach out to us
wanting others to acknowledge us
wanting others to give us the gold star that never came at the right moment

will never happen so we are obligated to take the first step

invitation may appear simple and straightforward but it is not – esp for introverts like me

genuine invitations change our relationship with others – we come to them as an equal

must be willing to take “no” for an answer without any persuasion

numbers accepting do not matter

Invitation as a Way of Being

invitation not only a step in bringing people together but also a fundamental way of being in community

manifests a willingness to live in a collaborative way

means the future can be created without having to force it, sell it, barter for it

the choice for idealism or cynicism is a spiritual stance re nature of human beings

a commitment to invitation is a core strategy for idealism & determines the context within which people show up

invitation is a language to act

“I invite you”

a powerful convo because at moment of inviting, hospitality and choice are created in the world

certain properties of an invitation that can make more than simply a request:-

state the reason for the gathering
at its best, must contain a hurdle / demand if accepted

this is not to be inhospitable
but to make even act of invitation an example of the interdependence we want to experience

a request not only to show up but to engage

real change is a self-inflicted wound

people need to self-enrol to experience their freedom & commitment

let this begin in the decision to attend

The Invitation List

“who do we need in the room?”

intent is to bring people together across boundaries

we keep inviting those who have not been in the convo

even if people say “no”, that act is important and counts for something

constantly seek to have people in the room who are not used to being together – across sectors and socio-economic classes

hard work to make this happen – perhaps more important than what occurs in the gathering

ideally want a sample of “whole system” in the room when they convene for change (Marvin Weisbord & Sandra Janoff; “Don’t Just Do Something, Stand There!”, you need people with:-

authority to act—decision makers
resources, such as contacts, time, or money
expertise in the issues to be considered
information about the topic that no others have
a need to be involved because they will be affected by the outcome and can speak to the consequences.

will always be the case that people do not accept the invitation and that are therefore not in the room

still means that whoever is in the room are the right people

eventually those who show up have task of deciding who to invite next

Constructing the Invitation

elements of the invitation:-

declare the possibility of the gathering

the reason for the gathering
declaration of the future the convenor is committed to
needs to be compelling to others and inspires us

frame the choice

pay attention to our willingness & comfort in accepting refusal
refusal has to be perfectly acceptable
if no is not an option, it is not an invitation
let them know that even if they say no now they will be welcome in future

name the hurdle

be explicit in what is required of them should they choose to attend
they will be asked to explore ways to deepen their learning & commitment
other common hurdles that should be part of invitation:-

plan to engage with others
put your interests to one side for the moment
commit to the time
be willing to postpone quick action

cf Ernest Shackleton’s ad for Antarctic expedition

reinforce the request

if you choose not to attend, you will be missed but not forgotten

decide on the most personal form possible

make it personal
visit more personal than a call, a call is more personal than a letter, a letter is more personal than email
single addressee more personal than a distribution list addressee
email is about as impersonal as it gets

Chapter 12: The Possibility, Ownership, Dissent, Commitment, and Gifts Conversations

My research and application notes from the book

See responses to the questions below.

Book Club Questions

Q1: Possibility: What is your understanding now of the difference between possibility (lives into the future) and problem solving (makes improvements on the past)?

A1: Strong resonances for me with my desire to address problems and opportunities. Far too easy to just address immediate problems and not seek to take advantage of opportunities. I see this as the difference between incremental and step change. Definitely need to address both. Ideally, when addressing problems, we should not just address the immediate problem and miss wider issues and opportunities that would render the problems irrelevant or redundant. Ideal when opportunity becomes blue skies thinking and removing the shackles of current implied/explicit assumptions. Need to encourage participants to think wildly and best case and not to self-censor when stating their view of futures. Need to hear everyone’s view of possibilities.

Q2: Possibility: What is your assessment of the following possibility questions?

What is the crossroads where you find yourself at this stage of your life or work or project around which we are assembled?
What declaration of possibility can you make that has the power to transform the community and inspire you?

A2: Forces people to think about crossroads (am I at one?). Implies choices to make. Implies where no choice is made we are standing still and going nowhere and that usually means we are going backwards. Reminded of the “optimistic” hat from Edward de Bono’s thinking hats. Gets under the skin of people to understand what would inspire them.

Q3: Ownership: What is your assessment of the essential question “how have I contributed to creating the current reality?”

A3: Always good to understand how we got here. This question puts the answerer in the spotlight. Made me think about people who are “new” to the organisation and how we would involve them e.g. what they see in the current situation and may be force them to speculate how, if they had been here earlier, how they might have contributed with their current assumptions.

Q4: What is your assessment of the following ownership questions?

How valuable an experience (or project or community) do you plan for this to be?
How much risk are you willing to take?
How participative do you plan to be?
To what extent are you invested in the well-being of the whole?

and the subsequent questions
What have I done to contribute to the very thing I complain about or want to change?
What is the story about this community or organization that you hear yourself most often telling? The one that you are wedded to and maybe even take your identity from?
What are the payoffs you receive from holding on to this story? (usually include being right, being in control, being safe or not being wrong, controlled, or at risk)
What is your attachment to this story costing you? (most often is our sense of aliveness)

A4: 1: Makes the assumption that this needs to be valuable and each person has the power to make it more or less valuable

2: Makes the person think about risk, what it is for them, what risks might apply to them in this process.

3: Makes the point that people choose their level of participation. Even the best facilitators find some people a challenge to open up and take part.

Q5: Dissent: how was your view of dissent challenged by this section?

A5: The traditional view of dissent is that it is a negative and should be avoided at all costs and that it demonstrates bad behaviour. In sport, this may result in a person being sent off to take no further part in the game.

Q6: What is your assessment of the following dissent questions?

What doubts/reservations do you have?
What is the no, or refusal, you keep postponing?
What have you said yes to that you no longer really mean?
What is a commitment or decision that you have changed your mind about?
What forgiveness are you withholding?
What resentment do you hold that no one knows about?

A6: 1: good to air these but needs to be in a safe space. Reminds me of the “pessimistic” hat in Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats. Also reminding me of risk assessments we do at the start of and during projects.

2: makes the point that we may have long standing views that will impact our input Also making the point that we might be fence sitting and need to come off it.

3: has my position changed but that has not been communicated to others. Are there things that I was passionate about in the past but no longer and others are therefore working on false assunmptions about us.

4: has my view on something changed that is now in scope of this current convo.

5: what grudges am I holding on to that will make me and the other person less effective or worse

6: if I was to be totally transparent, what is my totally naked view of those I am working with and relating to in this process.

Q7: What is your own experience of giving and receiving lip service?

A7: I tend to be and “all or nothing” process and increasingly comfortable in stating my position on anything and seeing “lip service” from others – I look for th fruit of people’s lives – what they do and achieve versus what they have said or currently saying.

Q8: What is your use and meaning of the phrases “I will try hard”, “I will think about it” and “I will do my best”?

A8: Reminded of the Star Wars line “there is no try, only do”. Words are important. If I need to qualify my “yes” I will say so. I am increasingly conscious of my use of words and what I am committing to so this becomes less of an issue. Depends on the person saying the words. Experience of the person will inform your view of their seriousness or whether you are being fobbed off.

Q9: What is your assessment of the following commitment questions?

What promises am I willing to make?
What measures have meaning to me?
What price am I willing to pay?
What is the cost to others for me to keep my commitments, or to fail in my commitments?
What is the promise I’m willing to make that constitutes a risk or major shift for me?
What is the promise I am postponing?
What is the promise or commitment I am unwilling to make?

A9: 1: makes people think about “promises” and there are “promises” to make.

2: how do I quantify success and know that success has been achieved

3: there is a cost to me and where is my line above which I am not prepared to go, per Bible references, we should count the cost before we start anything

4: reminds me that my decisions to do or not do something impacts other people, I am not an island

5: this reminds me of my comfort zone and fears and what I am prepared to get beyond those for the good of the wider group

6: are there things that I have been procrastinating about for a long time especially those that impact others in any way.

7: the ultimate question that would be scary to make if being totally transparent

Q10: Gifts: What was your response when reading this section including the questions to be asked in small groups?

A10: for lots of groups this would be a huge challenge. I am getting increasingly comfortable in accepting compliments and not just saying in response that it is my job or role to do whatever I am being complimented about. I am a grateful person and increasingly being specific about that to specific people unprompted or otherwise. Big fan of “strengths” and not focussing on weaknesses unless these are crippling. However, I do believe performance issues need addressing as part of a healthy coaching relationship with colleagues. Good that these are not just specific task questions but also process/style type questions.

Q11: What is your assessment of the following gifts questions?

What is the gift you currently hold in exile?
What is it about you that no one knows about?
What are you grateful for that has gone unspoken?
What is the positive feedback you receive that still surprises you?

5. What is the gift you have that you do not fully acknowledge?

A11: 1: reminding me of my Liz Ryan “Reinvention Roadmap” outputs where I am good at so many things that have not been “used” at work and not on my CV etc and that people do not know about that could move the game on in the organisations that I am involved in.

2: This is answered in a great way by the “50 Facts About Me” exercise in the Working Out Loud circle guides

3: Listing these in my 5 Minute Journal. So many things! I am trying harder to be more explicitly grateful about things in all areas of my life.

4: Feedback that reveals that the other person really “gets” and appreciates me often shocks me but getting more normal! A good thing. Also trying to be much more self-aware about this so that the surprise element disappears.

Q12: What contexts would you love and hate to ask all 10 of the core questions at the end of the chapter and why?

A12: Many (all?) these questions are never fully answered (or asked!) in any of the contexts of my life or for the various roles that I perform across all of my life. I am sure I would get better answers in some areas than others but I do believe that all feedback is valuable! So instead of “love” and “hate”, I would prefer to use the words “comfortable” and “uncomfortable”.

My notes from the book

Conversation 2: Possibility

frees us to be pulled by a new future

difference between possibility (lives into the future) and problem solving (makes improvements on the past)

living systems are propelled by the force of the future

possibility occurs as a declaration -- wholeheartedly declaring a possibility can, in fact, be the transformation

leadership task is to postpone problem solving & stay focused on possibility until it is spoken with resonance & passion

once we have fully declared a possibility, it works on us .. we do not have to work on it

The Distinctions for the Possibility Conversation

do not confuse possibility with vision, goals, prediction & optimism

possibility is not simply a dream

framed as a declaration of the world we want to inhabit

statement of who I am that transcends our history, story, usual demographics

power is in the act of declaring

difference between possibility & problem solving – vision needs to be postponed and replaced with possibility

out of this declaration, each time we enter a room, the possibility enters with us

communal possibility comes into being through individual public declarations of possibility

every possibility begins as individual declaration, it gains power & impacts community when made public

the communal possibility is where a collective exists for realisation of all the possibilities of its members = the real meaning of restorative community – where all possibilities can come alive & come alive as soon as they are announced

---

each person’s possibility counts esp those whose voices are quieted or marginalised by drumbeat of retribution

the possibility convo alone does not restore community – other convos are just as critical

we have to act as owners of our community, has to be space for dissent, a commitment has to be made, gifts have to be embraced

each convo takes its life/impact from the other convos

even tho each leads to the others, any one of the them held in isolation reduces the chance of real transformation

The Questions for the Possibility Conversation

needs to be a time in each gathering when time devoted to private possibility to be developed and then made public

best opening question for possibility …

what is the crossroads where you find yourself at this stage of your life or work or project around which we are assembled?

later, more direct individual question for possibility will be …

what declaration of possibility can you make that has the power to transform the community and inspire you?

there are 2 overarching qs that point to the future but cannot be asked directly:-

what do we want to create together that would make the difference?

what can we create together that we cannot create alone?

these 2 qs almost define community for that is where these qs are valued

but the over convos are needed to be able to properly answer these qs

Conversation 3: Ownership

accountability: willingness to acknowledge that we have participated in creating, through commission or omission, the conditions that we wish to see changed

if we cannot see ourselves as cause, our efforts become coercive or wishfully dependent on transformation of others

community will be created the moment we decide to act as creators of what it can become – applies to anything, small or large (e.g. world peace, our teenagers’ behaviour)

this requires us to believe that that this org/ neighbourhood/ community is mine/ ours to create

this will happen when we willing to answer the essential question “how have I contributed to creating the current reality?”

confusion/ blame/ waiting for someone else to change are defences against ownership & personal power

when answered, this is central to how community is transformed

innocence & indifference are subtle denials of ownership

beware saying “it does not matter to me – whatever you want to do is fine” .. this is a LIE & just a polite way of avoiding difficult convo re ownership

people best create that which they own

co-creation is the bedrock of accountability

each of us is cause not effect

The Distinctions for the Conversation for Ownership

ownership is acknowledgement of our guilt

to confess that the world is, in part, our construction

we become the author of our own experience – the choice to decide on our own what value/ meaning will occur when we show up .. the stance that each of us is creating the world, even the one we have inherited

key distinction for convo is between ownership and blame (a form of entitlement)

each time people enter a room, ambivalence whether this is the right place to be – due to default mindset is someone else owns the room, the meeting, purpose that convened the meeting

conventional gatherings have unspoken belief that whoever called the meeting has something in mind for us

leader/convenor has to change this, to renegotiate the social contract

shift to belief that this world – this gathering – is ours to construct together

move from parenting to partnership

use changing the room as example of changing the community

The Questions for Ownership

questions re “I am cause” are hard so do not start there

ask about the ownership that people feel for this specific gathering

extent to which they act as owners of the meeting is symptomatic of how they will act as owners of the larger q on table

extent of ownership of larger qs more difficult and needs higher level of relatedness before it can be held in right context

4 Early Questions to Shift the Ownership of the Room

Ask people to rate 0-7 low-high responses to 4 qs

How valuable an experience (or project or community) do you plan for this to be?
How much risk are you willing to take?
How participative do you plan to be?
To what extent are you invested in the well-being of the whole?

ask early in any gathering

answer on their own

share answers in small group where just be interested in each others’ responses

The Guilt Question

later ask this on which accountability hinges

What have I done to contribute to the very thing I complain about or want to change?

make sure people answer this question directly

to answer, requires high level of trust after people feel connected to each other

may be most transforming q of all

if we do not see ourselves as part of cause of current state, no possible way we can participate usefully in co-authoring the future

The Story Questions

another ownership convo

confront our stories that limit possibility of an alternative future

sequence of qs from Werner Erhard

What is the story about this community or organization that you hear yourself most often telling? The one that you are wedded to and maybe even take your identity from?

What are the payoffs you receive from holding on to this story? (usually include being right, being in control, being safe or not being wrong, controlled, or at risk)

What is your attachment to this story costing you? (most often is our sense of aliveness)

these qs allow us to complete our stories – not forget them

the naming of a story to another can take the limiting power out of the story – allowing the story to stay in the past and creates opening for us to move forward

often people are determined to hold on to their stories – this process works on us over time

Conversation 4: Dissent

creating space for dissent is the way diversity gets valued in the world

inviting dissent shows respect for wide range of beliefs

Bohr’s maxim: for every great idea, the opposite idea is also true

in some ways our faith is measured by extent of our doubts

with no doubt, our faith has no meaning – purchased at too small a price to give it value

in patriarchal world, dissent considered disloyalty – or negativism – or not being a team player, or not being a team player, or not being a good citizen – you are either with us or against us

= a corruption of hospitality & friendship

hospitality is the welcoming not only of strangers but also the strange ideas they bring with them

Doubt and Dissent

critical task of leadership is to protect space for expression of people’s doubts

surfacing doubts & dissent does not deflect communal intention to create something new

leaders do not have to respond to each person’s doubts

authentic dissent is complete simply in its expression

if we feel we have to answer/defend, it closes the space for dissent

we just need to be interested in them

dissent becomes commitment & accountability when we get interested in it without having to explain, fix, answer it

“No” is the Beginning of Commitment

dissent convo starts by allowing people the space to say no – if we cannot say no, our yes has no meaning

each of us needs the chance to express our doubts/ reservations without having to justify them or move rapidly to problem solving

“no” is beginning of convo for commitment

critical – dissent followed by other convos

view dissent as transitional convo to other convos of possibility, ownership & gifts

the fear is that we will make people more negative by giving them room for refusal = mental model of ostrich – if people say no, does not create the dissent, it expresses it, also does not mean they will get their way

restorative community is that place where saying no does not cost us membership in the meeting or in community

encourage those who say no to stay – we need their voice

we will let go of only those doubts that we have given voice to – when someone authentically says no, the room becomes real/trustworthy

authentic statement: where person owns that dissent is their choice and not form of blame/complaint – once expressed those doubts no longer control us, we control them

doubt and “no” are symbolic expressions of people finding their space/role in future – when we fully understand what people do not want that choice becomes possible

dissent in this way is life-giving, life-affirming = refusal to live the life someone else has in mind for us

we cease being a child

means that such people begin to join the community as fully-fledged citizens

The Distinctions for the Conversation for Dissent

vital difference between authentic/in-authentic dissent – false refusal, denial, rebellion, resignation

denial: act as if present is good enough, often agrees there is a problem but then trivialises its existence or cost, a defining feature of addiction, hard to accept that you are a player in creating what you are trying so hard to eliminate

rebellion: more complex, reaction to the world, most often simply a complaint that others have control and not us, reason why most revolutions fail because nothing changes, only the name of the monarch, community form of rebellion is protest, safety in building an identity of what we do not want, both sides more wedded to their positions than creating a new possibility = why they make unfulfillable demands, any time we act in reaction, even to evil, we are giving power to what we are reacting to

real problem with rebellion is that it is such fun:-

avoids taking responsibility
operates on high ground
fuelled by righteousness
gives legitimacy to blame
delightful escape from unbearable burden of being accountable

brings great value when it occurs … teaches us, holds us accountable

resignation: ultimate act of powerlessness, a stance against possibility, a passive form of control, born of our cynicism & loss of faith, resigning from the future, embracing the past, none of us strong enough to carry our own/other’s resignation, ultimately alienates/destroys community, spiritual cause of isolation & not belonging

dissent as a form of refusal becomes authentic when it is a choice for its own sake, when it is an act of accountability

authentic dissent is recognisable by absence of blame, absence of resignation

blame, denial, rebellion, resignation have no power to create

a simple “no” begins a larger convo or at least creates space for one

when faced with a “no”, or doubts, or authentic refusal, we move forward when we get interested/curious

ultimate expression of useful power is a leader’s saying “I must warn you, if you argue with me, I will likely be forced to take your side”

The Questions for Dissent

challenge is to frame qs in a way that evokes authentic dissent and does not encourage any kind of denial, rebellion, resignation

to circumvent denial, don’t ask people if they think there is a problem, or ask them to define the problem, or what they are going to do or list 10 things about anything

when faced with rebellion, all we can do is recognise it, not argue

qs for expression of dissent:-

what doubts/reservations do you have?
what is the no, or refusal, you keep postponing?
what have you said yes to that you no longer really mean?
what is a commitment or decision that you have changed your mind about?
what forgiveness are you withholding?
what resentment do you hold that no one knows about?

ascending order of difficulty

final 2 are v difficult, use with discretion

some will not answer those and no damage is done

we can ask anything, as long as we do not pressure people to answer

key for convener is not to take dissent personally or argue with the things being expressed

if you can answer honestly to resolve a doubt, do so

but most of time doubts are well-founded with no easy answer … just appreciate that the doubt was made public

intention is for concerns to be expressed openly not left to convos in private

dissent is a form of caring not of resistance

Conversation 5: Commitment

usually comes later in the process after the earlier convos and some work on substantive issues has been done

commitment: a promise made with no expectation of return

willingness to make a promise independent of either approval or reciprocity from others

takes barter out of convo

our promise is not contingent on actions of others

economist replaced by artist

if dependent on others, it is not commitment but a deal, contract

a bargained future is not an alternative future – more of the past brought forward

declaration of a promise is the form that commitment takes – the action that initiates change

one thing to set a goal / objective but more personal when the language of promises

Lip Service is the Enemy of Commitment

sometimes we act as if we need to choose between commitment and refusal or dissent

saying no is a stance as useful as a promise

lip service is another story

nothing kills democracy or transformation faster than lip service

future does not die from opposition; disappears in the face of lip service

lip service sabotages commitment

“I’ll try”

consider “no” for the following:-

I will try hard
I will think about it
I will do my best

at that moment, there is no commitment

we can move forward with refusal but not with may be

it is a way to escape the moment

hijacks commitment

wholehearted commitment makes a promise to our peers about our contribution centred on 2 qs:-

what promise am I willing to make?
what is the price I am willing to pay for the success of the whole effort

a promise for the sake of a larger purpose, not personal return

a promise to peers so peers can see the basis for an alternative future

sit in circles so peers see into eyes of the speaker

need the commitment of much fewer people to create the future we have in mind

The Questions for the Conversations for Commitment

commitment: 2 kinds of promises:-

promises about my behaviour and actions with others
promises about results & outcomes that occur in the world

the promises that matter are the ones to peers not those in power

peers decide if the promises are sufficient

the start of a longer convo

promises are sacred – the means by which we choose accountability

we become accountable the moment we make promises public

some examples:-

what promises am I willing to make?
what measures have meaning to me?
what price am I willing to pay?
what is the cost to others for me to keep my commitments, or to fail in my commitments?
what is the promise I’m willing to make that constitutes a risk or major shift for me?
what is the promise I am postponing?
what is the promise or commitment I am unwilling to make?

to really ground the convo, write by hand, sign and date the promises

collect / publish the whole set

check in for progress at future intervals

you can pass and make no promises

does not exclude the person – honours that choice for all

the only act that puts membership at risk is unwillingness to honour our word

refusing to make a promise is an act of integrity and supports community

not honouring word or retracting sabotages community – does not matter what the excuse is

the bloody trail of lip service

Conversation 6: Gifts

with all the other talk re needs, problems, deficiencies etc, gifts are the missing convo

the only cultural practices that focus on gifts are retirement parties & funeral – we only express gratitude for your gifts when you are on your way out or gone

in community building, we gain more leverage when we focus on the gifts we bring and seek ways to capitalise on them

brings the greatest change and results

esp true when caring for or acting with people who live in exile

focus on gifts confronts people with their essential core – that which has the potential to make the difference and change lives for good

resolves the unnatural separation between work and life

who we are at work is our life, who we are in life is our work

the leadership task – and the task for all of us – is to bring the gifts of those on the margin to the centre

a core quality of hospitable community (including the gifts of strangers)

The Gifts Distinctions

authentically acknowledging our gifts is what it means to be inclusive or to value diversity

people should take their identity from their gifts not their disabilities

this is not a denial of our limitations, just a recognition that they are not who we are

I am what I am able to do. – my gifts and capacities. NOT what I am not able to do

straightforward distinction between gifts and deficiencies

when we look at deficiencies we strengthen them – WYSIWYG

the focus on gifts is a practical stance, not a moral one

what do you want from me – my deficiencies or my capacities?

The Gifts Questions

the gifts convo at core is our willingness to stop telling people about:-

what they need to improve
what did not go well
how they should do it differently next time

instead, confront them with their gifts – talk to others about:-

the gifts you have received from them
the unique strength that you see in them
the capacities they have that bring something unique and needed in the world
what they did in the last 10 minutes that made a difference

Gifts of this Gathering

every time we gather, make space for a discussion of what gifts have been exchanged – this q needs asking of the community:-

what gift have you received from another in the room?

tell the person in specific terms

we focus on gifts because what we focus on, we strengthen e.g.:-

what has someone in your small group done today that has touched you or moved you or been of value to you?

or

in what way did a particular person engage you in a way that had meaning?

each person in the small group does this one at a time

we are so awkward at this convo type, needs to be set up in a special way

when each person is told something about them, they should respond “Thank you. I like hearing that!”

we want to let statements about gift sink in

help people put aside routine of deflecting appreciation & denying their gifts

encourage them not to excuse their contribution!

meaning we enforce a complete ban on denying gifts, discussing weaknesses and what is missing

often due to retributive culture, people want negative feedback packaged in name of learning / growth

The Gift Each Brings Into The World

beyond the above convo, we each have to address the extent to which we are bringing our gifts into the world

we are aware of our deficiencies

we are blind to our gifts – the ones unique to us

our work in life is to know and accept these gifts – acceptance is what is required to bring them out

Questions to ask:-

What is the gift you currently hold in exile?
What is it about you that no one knows about?
What are you grateful for that has gone unspoken?
What is the positive feedback you receive that still surprises you?
What is the gift you have that you do not fully acknowledge?

even if no immediate answer, these questions will work on us

in the asking, we create space for these gifts which are central to restoration

the qs are the transformation simply by being named

The Questions At A Glance

the heart of the convos emerging from these qs is to create a sense of belonging with others & a sense of accountability for oneself & care for the commons

a summary of the core qs associated with each convo:-

What is the choice you made by being here? (Invitation)
How much risk do you plan to take, and how participative do you plan to be in this gathering or project? (Ownership)
What are the crossroads you/we are at that are appropriate to the purpose of the gathering? (Possibilities)
What declarations are you prepared to make about the possibilities for the future? (Possibilities)
To what extent do you see yourself as cause of the problem you are trying to fix? (Ownership)
What is the story you hold about this community or this issue, and what are the payoffs and costs of this story? (Ownership)
What are your doubts and reservations? (Dissent)
What is the yes you no longer mean? (Dissent)
What promises are you willing to make to your peers? (Commitment)
What gifts have you received from each other? (Gifts)

the imp thing about these qs is that they name the agenda that can shift the nature of the future

a curriculum for the restorative community

the power is in the asking not the answers

many ways to frame the qs but do not make them way too easy

the work is to invent qs that fit the work you are doing and the conditions you are attempting to shift

these ideas and methodology depend on a certain amount of goodwill

in some cases nothing we do will make a difference

in the LT, this is never the case!

but in the moment of a “poor” gathering, we forgive ourselves and go again

Chapter 13: Bringing Hospitality Into The World

My research and application notes from the book

See responses to the questions below.

Book Club Questions

Q1: What is your definition of hospitality?
A1: Being a welcoming host for any gathering. Making people feel welcome and at home. Putting people at ease. Explaining where things are including where we are meeting, location of toilets. Answering any questions they may have. I want people to want to come back.

Q2: Before reading this chapter what was your view of hospitality and how do you practice hospitality?
A2: As per my explanation above. Important to make people feel welcome and tailoring that to the individual without making any crass assumptions. Being attentive to when I see people need something or look like they have a question. Involving them in conversation directly and introducing them to others. Not automatically filling silence but not just filling the silence either. Regularly have people round for meals and socials at our house. Importance of the space you have available and how you use it. Meeting people’s needs. Making things memorable.

Q3: Assess your own hospitality against the 6 elements.
A3: -- welcome and greeting: I try to provide a lead-in and not just jump straight into the action part of the meeting/session
-- restate the invitation: I generally restate the purpose of the meeting/session from the “agenda” that I send out
-- connection before content: poor at this although I do ask an ice-breaker question at the start of the Bible study group that I lead
-- late arrivals: got a big issue about people being on time so I need to learn and apply this part more! But in the same Bible study group, one person always comes after we have started but that is fine as we know ahead of time that he is working late so we always bring him up-to-speed with what he has missed
-- early departure: never given this any thought at all so another learning opportunity; I invariably view this negatively if not told beforehand
-- breaking bread together: I love my food but often this is not my call, love chatting over food and drink; can learn from the local producers part of this section; also the healthy eating bit till now has been a low priority

Q4: What surprised you about this list?
A4: Fair to say that not that many of the events etc that I have put on or attended have covered these 6 items per this section of the book so lots of new thinking for me

Q5: What will you put into practice from this chapter?
A5: Consider more carefully my response to late comers and early departures

My notes from the book

In Western culture, where individualism and security seem to be priorities, we need to be more thoughtful about how to bring the welcoming of strangers into our daily way of being together.

The 6 convos have power when done in context of hospitality

design elements for including hospitality into our gatherings:-

welcome and greeting

greet people
welcome them personally
seat people
introduce them to people they do not know
people enter in isolation – reduce that isolation
let them know they came to the right place and are not alone

restate the invitation

begin with statement of why you are here
declare the possibility that led to the invitation
use everyday language
speak from the heart
use words/phrases that express

choice
faith
willingness to act
commitment to persevere
that leaders came to listen, not just to speak

connection before content

before working through agenda, connect to one another
not just an ice-breaker – can be fun but does little to break isolation or create community – achieves contact not connection
connection occurs when we speak of what matters about this moment – done most easily through questions
examples:-

What led you to accept the invitation?
Why was it important for you to be here today?
What is the price others paid for you to be here?
If you could invite someone from your life, past or present, to sit beside you and support you in making this meeting successful, who would that be?

circles of 3-6 – with people you know the least – sets tone for breaking boundaries
stranger groups at the outset then affinity groups later when working in the detail
start with individuals reflecting on own, then 3s, 6s, all – 1,3,6,all
3s ideal if pressed for time

late arrivals

start on time
acknowledge and welcome late comers without humiliation and connect them to a group – = a defining feature of culture of hospitality – sets the tone for the key of relatedness

early departure

leaves hole/emptiness
hurts
there is a cost
there is a consequence
do not take it personally
how to handle:-

at start explain how leave early and to leave in public
acknowledge their leaving in a deliberate way
tell them to explain why /where leaving early
gifts convo from others in their group – you have given us …
what are you taking with you? what shifted for you? what is clearer for you? what value from your attendance? anything else you would like to say
thank them for coming
remove their chairs so not reminded of our loss

takes time but depth over speed
how we treat these people today is how we will be treated tomorrow

breaking bread together

food: has traditionally defined culture
brings sacred into the room
symbol of hospitality
a direct life-giving act
need consciousness about having food and what food meets our intention
ideally, natural healthy food prep-ed by local merchants reflecting diversity of world we are embracing
a reminder of the Sabbath
some people will complain let them

Chapter 14: Designing Physical Space That Supports Community

My research and application notes from the book

See responses to the questions below.

Book Club Questions

Q1: What are your thoughts on physical spaces, room layout, shape of furniture and how these things impact the culture of the family or organisation?
A1: I am increasingly thinking more about these issues and understand the power of things like round tables rather than rectangular ones that do set up an “us “ and “them” expectation. Part of this is also how we sit next to our own team colleagues rather than others or those outside our own organisation. The current leader of my church does a lot of furniture layout moves for different kinds of meetings including lines and semi-circles. I compliment him on this as it is very helpful and does impact favourably the feeling in our large gatherings.

Q2: When you arrive in a room, what do you you with the furniture etc if anything?
A2: Wherever possible, I do try to get a circle. Often this is impossible with the room size and furniture that we have both at home and at work. I also consider where I and others should sit to ideally mix people up.

Q4: What is your experience of designing a space for you to live in and/or work in?
A4: Not much at all. We had minimal, if any, input to an office move that we did a long time ago. I believe audio/video conferencing was an afterthought. I would love to help design work spaces as someone who facilitates meetings with a variety of differing objectives.

Q5: What room configurations do you work in and have meetings etc in?
A5: Board room – rectangular table with heavy chairs on wheels that tilt.
Meeting Rooms – with odd table shapes – not simple rectangular and not circles, fixed leg chairs.
Huddle areas – bench type seating with single cushioned seat, enclosed space, poor lighting with rectangular table
Director’s office – circular table with fixed leg chairs.
My desk at work – rectangular desk with space for 2 people on my side with a divider vertical panel so I can see the colleague opposite me., chair with wheels, tiltable
At church, main room for large gatherings, config often changes. I try to get circle for smaller gatherings in that large spaces.

I was reminded of the U2 360 stage config with the audience all round the stage.
Video: U2 360° - Creating The 360 Tour [The production of The Tour]:
https://youtu.be/mpk8wRhoRnQ

Q6: Do the rooms you live in and work in have views out of and into them? How does that make you feel?
A6: Board room – shallow windows high-up so cannot see ground beyond. Dark colour on walls so not inviting. Glass by door so can see in.
Meeting Rooms – ditto
Huddle areas – no windows in the claustrophobic space, not inviting at all, cramped, so dark I can hardly see
Director’s office – big window, when door shut can not see in.
My desk at work – big window by me and blinds that I use when sunny
At church, main room for large gatherings – windows so high up would need ladder to see out and in.

Reminding me of a local church with more accessible windows so people can see in and out. I prefer it!

Q7: Describe any plants or other natural things that are in your home or work spaces e.g. plants, candles etc
A7: Not aware of anything at all. Reminded of looking at hygge some time ago and the Health and Safety concerns of using candles as a fire hazard.
Also reminded of a Zoom (?) video talking about the power of nature pics on screens and walls and the impact on creativity and productivity.

Q8: How does technology feature in your home or work spaces (including any amplification)?
A8: The only space I regularly use does have amplification with fixed and mobile mics and a big screen.
At work, the board room has video conferencing functionality that I do not know how to use and would need to be shown when I needed to use that functionality. To date, where I work at the moment, I only use audio conferencing and usually from my own desk.

Q9: How would you comment on the chairs in your home and office spaces?
A9: Some are too heavy! Some are too flimsy and not comfortable. The church ones are really comfy despite not being easily movable – they are heavy! – and not on wheels or tiltable.
Reminded seeing a video of Marshall Goldsmith telling his audience to maintain a sight line with him as he moved around the venue they were in. I believe the chairs were on wheels and swivelled.

Q10: Do your rooms have raised levels or are they all on the same level? How does that affect your use of those rooms?
A10: Only the church main venue is on split levels but not a great height difference – inches. We are using the “higher” level less often these days except where one person is teaching the wider group.
Reminded of reading about the announcement of Satya Nadella’s appointment as Microsoft’s new CEO and where only a slightly raised platform was used for the main players in that announcement with press etc all round that platform to create a more intimate more approachable space.

Q11: How is art or other creative artefacts used in your home and office spaces? What is on the walls?
A11: There are some murals including vivid colours on some of the walls but apart from that nothing.

Q12: Watch this video. “William “Holly” Whyte in His Own Words, “The Social Life of Small Urban Spaces” (1980) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU2vVqbtRAY). What came to your mind as you watched the video?
A12: How much I take easily moveable furniture for granted. Not being able to easily move things is a big challenge when wanting to split a larger group into smaller groups. Making me want to look at public and work spaces with new eyes to understand what is going on in those spaces and how I would improve them if I could. Where do I want to sit and why can’t I sit there. Not a sun worshipper so I need open and sheltered spaces. The power of water features to draw people. Great water space in Bradford city centre in the UK. Challenged by people attracting people. I like quiet spaces!

Q13: Does any of this chapter apply to virtual communities?
A13: For me virtual spaces are very like physical spaces and as such looking at both can help understand and improve how we use the other.
For example, in Zoom calls, you can have a view of only the active speaker or see all participants. I much prefer the latter and in fact is arguably better in some senses that being sat round any table in real life as you can see all in one view.
In one of the MOOCs I have done we were asked to state our requirements for our ideal learning environment. This was my response which was for a virtual learning environment: http://srjf.blogspot.com/2016/06/my-ideal-learning-environment.html.

My notes from the book

another factor in creating the experience of community and belonging is to be intentional about how we design & occupy physical space

The Physical Space

every room we occupy is metaphor for the larger community we want to create

true socially and physically

if the future we desire does not exist in this room today, it will never occur tomorrow

“change the room, change the culture”

meeting rooms traditionally designed for efficiency, control & business as we know it

Conference Rooms: rectangular tables, us and them – you sit blind to those on your own side of the table – no eye contact – ends of table are VIP positions – we know that and avoid those places – often asked to pay the bill in restaurant – typical design for boardrooms

Auditoriums: designed for citizens to receive what others have produced – great for presentations and performance

Classrooms: mostly designed for instruction – layout says 1 expert who knows – structured for teaching not learning – little recognition of power of peer-to-peer learning – even U shapes are an issue, cannot see all

Reception areas: mostly designed for security – demonstrate your right to be here – not the welcome that encourages belonging – best examples of design for welcome & hospitality are good hotels/restaurants

Hallways: designed for transportation – can create hallways as city streets – places where casual contact is valued, rooms have windows like shop fronts – wide enough for seating areas

Cafeterias: often designed as efficient refuelling stations – throughput is key, do not linger, get back to work – in old days, spaces for execs and spaces for staff

Bring the room to life and life to the room

may not have control of the form/shape of room but always have choices about how to occupy the room

task to rearrange the room to meet our intention to build relatedness, accountability & commitment

convenor as interior designer

has to be done in a world not designed for human interaction

room needs to express the quality of aliveness & belonging that we wish for the community

Arrange the room as the shape of things to come

circle is the symbol for community and therefore for arranging the room

if needed, round tables – smallest ones you can find

ideal for small group is circle of chairs & no table, chairs as close together as possible

no table instantly / visually communicates to citizens / employees that dialogue / relationship with each other are as important as content to be covered

Pick a room with a view

no window means we are isolated from our world, sets boundaries for our thinking

no exchange of energy between us and our world

Welcome nature into the room

get as much daylight into the room as possible even if glare for screen!

use plants even if artificial

often not used as high maintenance

even one candle or one flower in room changes everything

Amplify the Whole Room

not just 1 mic for the whole room that people have to walk to for whole group hearing them

e.g. 3 handheld mics

the tone of convos shifts

Choose Chairs That Swivel and Have Wheels and Low Backs

movable chair is a metaphor for the ability to move between small group and wider group

swivel chair helps people see everyone in room

wheels help us move

Level the Playing Field

issue of stages and platforms raising people on them above others

fosters us and them

encourages Q&A with only those on floor with qs and those on stage with answers

challenges anyone saying from the stage “we need your input”

good example of theatres in the round where audience becomes participant in the drama

Bring in Art and the Aesthetic

there can be no transformation without art – theatre, poetry, music, dance, literature, painting, sculpture

art brings peripheral voices into the mainstream

most communities proud of their arts tradition

if every gathering is an occasion for producing for ourselves a future we want to inhabit, then we need to design it for that intention, and we need art to accomplish this.

in large gathering, invite local group to perform as part of welcome

use art to mark transitions between parts of a gathering – doable with little cost/prep

each group of 20 will have someone willing to contribute something – ask at start of gathering

when this happens, the tone in the room shifts – place becomes a little more sacred

Put Life on the Wall

empty wall is the epitome of loneliness

some of our rooms are well decorated and welcoming – designed to be

why not extend this beyond senior people’s and customer-facing spaces

“An empty wall is a testimony to the insignificance of the human spirit”
[ pioneering street life researcher William H. Whyte ]

our job is to affirm the significance of the human spirit – fill spaces with art of all sorts

the curation of public spaces – many orgs happy to give parts of their collection for spaces

Design and Build Opportunities

great to be able to be involved in the planning and design of spaces

“Common sense tells us—or seems to tell us—that the physical environment affects our lives. It has often been said, certainly, that the shape of buildings affects our ability to live, our well-being, perhaps our behaviour. Winston Churchill is believed to have said, “we shape our buildings; and they shape us.” But how do they affect us?

I shall argue that the geometry of the physical world—its space— has the most profound impact possible on human beings: it has impact on the most important of all human qualities, our inner freedom, or the sense of life each person has. It touches on internal freedom, freedom of the spirit.

I shall argue that the right kind of physical environment, when it has living structure, nourishes freedom of the spirit in human beings. In the wrong kind, lacking living structure, freedom of the spirit can be destroyed or weakened. If I am right, this will suggest that the character of the physical world has impact on possibly the most precious attribute of human existence. It is precisely life— the living structure of the environment—which has this effect.”
[ Christopher Alexander; Book 1; Nature of Order series ]

lots of work is more about the architect and their legacy rather than the neighbourhood where they build

some spaces are hostile to people using them!

we are the same with how we design our gatherings!

Ken Cunningham and John Spencer’s design process:-

in essence, invite citizens to walk around, observe and imagine what the space might become
treat citizens as producers of design not consumers
steps

get cross-section of people esp those typically disengaged

those with direct stake in the design – internal community
outsiders – external supportive community

pre-design – get to know each other

small groups
convos for transforming community

walk in critical places of design to get views of community not architect

what do I see?
what do I know?
what are my assumptions?
what do I envision?

post answers to the questions

primary goal: each person sees their input in final plan

architects then do trad research
define core elements/reqs facing the design
all presented with organised version of their comments & results of research

creative ways to sustain ownership/ commitment

talking stick – one person at a time
physical games to explore / discover their choices – move things on board, talk through trade-offs

experts usually do this, here citizens

conflict where strong differences become obvious

handled via fishbowl – disagree-ers in centre, seats outside for those to interact = resolution by those involved
where no agreement, 20 min timebound limit – pink pearl for success, silver dagger for failure
group moves on but often succeeds here

document in draft design – presented back to citizens
review design together and experience their product

There is more than enough time and just enough money

cost / speed are always cited in argument against great design

often get ugly designs where cost and savings are paramount

quest for no barriers between people is ongoing

never yield to the temptation to compromise on the ideas in this chapter

Chapter 15: The End of Unnecessary Suffering

My research and application notes from the book

See responses to the questions below.

Book Club Questions

Q1: What are your experiences of neighbourhood-type communities and seeking to transform your neighbourhood?
A1: As part of the church leadership team of a local church we were involved until a few years ago of delivering a number of community services for some 30 years including a nursery for pre-school children, training the unemployed and others, a cafe, being a local job centre etc. We were part of a Community Council comprising residents, representatives of local organisations delivering all kinds of services to our estate including police, housing, local council, health and church leaders. Our estate has high scores for a number of social deprivation measures. We put our charitable organisation into liquidation when the money dried up – all our income was from local government, national UK government and the EU via grant applications. I remember the challenges of what we were all seeking to do on the estate and how many issues were inter-related as they often are and how financial resources and work needed were always in short supply. Lots of resonances for me in reading this chapter. I believe the community council is still running but I have personally not been part of that for some years now. The same church remains committed to serving our estate in a variety of ways and these are primarily now run by volunteers who are part of the church. These include a lunch club for elderly people, a shop where people can buy or be given clothes, shoes etc and a Parents and Tots group with an indoor play gym. We continue to run a youth project that is funded by UK-wide charities that has run for years.

Q2: Picking up the themes in the chapter of different areas of local neighbourhoods, what would you say about "Youth" in your area?
A2: As above, in our church we have first hand exposure to the challenges of growing up on the estate where our church is set. Many have challenging family situations which we seek to help them with as well as running all kinds of other activities for them. They often put on drama performances e.g. a Christmas pantomime. Youth work happens in the other churches on the estate too. I often wonder what the majority of the kids on the estate of all ages do with their time as there does not seem to be much provision of services for them and what they would actually need or want.

Q3: ... and "Public Safety"?
A3: There is a lot of crime on the estate with police activity visible often. There have been short periods of time when the buses and taxis do not come on to the estate. There appears to be less crime where we live just off the estate but I am aware via Facebook group posts there are many crimes reported over time in those groups warning people of what crimes have been committed e.g. stolen cars, criminal damage etc.

Q4: ... and "Development and the Local Economy"?
A4: We have high levels of unemployment in our local area. There are shops on the estate and some businesses but this could be further developed. I am not knowledgeable in this subject but it would be great to have new businesses starting on the estate for employment and service reasons. I am not able to say what services those businesses should offer.

Q5: ... and "Family Well-Being and Human Services"?
A5: My perception is that these are usually in response to specific needs reactively rather than proactively improving family life.

Q6: ... and "Health Care"?
A6: We are well-provided for with health care services but again my perception is that lots of these services are reactive to need rather than proactive prevention.

Q7: How has reading information about local neighbourhoods affected your view of other kinds of communities that you are a part of in real life and virtually?
A7: The neighbourhoods content has made me realise again how much more challenging this work is than other forms of community management. But I also continue to realise that there are common issues, needs and approaches to working in communities of all types.

My notes from the book

you only teach what you need to learn – hence this book

1st hand experience of the impact of not being part of a community

over last 15 years have sought to belong to Cincinatti

reconciliation is for me the possibility of end of unnecessary suffering

extent of pain in our communities keeps commanding my attention

this pain is difference between human & political suffering

human suffering is inherent in being alive:-

isolation
loneliness
illness
abandonment
loss of meaning
sadness
death

unavoidable!

we have infinite choice in how we respond

gives vitality, meaning, texture to a life

political suffering: avoidable, unnecessary:-

visible

poverty
homelessness
hunger
violence
diaspora of those unable to return to their homeland
deteriorated housing
neighbourhood in distress

political

people’s learned dependency
internalised oppression
absence of possibility
powerlessness that breeds violence
imperialism
disregard for the worth of a human being

human choice to sustain a world of imbalance – surplus vs scarcity

politics re choices about distribution of power & control & mindset underlying those choices

avoidable suffering occurs as a result of our disconnectedness & imbalance of power / resources in our society

suffering increases when we are unrelated to those whose lives are so different from ours

this political suffering will decrease when we collectively choose to be together in a way that creates space for something new to happen

continually choose to more widely distribute ownership & accountability – choices by citizens not experts, leaders etc

will happen when we value, invest in & recognise gifts/capacities of citizens

evidence: see research on high-performing teams in all sectors

consider how shifting our thinking & practice re politics of experience could achieve reconciliation in several dimensions of community that are sources of so much grief:-

Youth

unifying force in community
view them as gifts waiting to be given, not problems to be solved
change perspective re drug dealing – entrepreneurial skills, learning something
for some street corner is only place that welcomes them
need to deal with our adultism – change nature of our listening
create people/places that welcome youth
where they see themselves reflected in those who work with them
focus not on their suffering but on getting to know who they are
discover what emerges

Public Safety

believe that citizens can create a safe space
street life & connected neighbours make a neighbourhood safe
do not defer to the pros (police etc who are needed for crime but cannot produce safety)
structures for citizens to volunteer (e.g. neighbourhood watch) under title of crime prevention BUT they are organised assault on the outside – unkind to strangers hanging around rather then getting to know them
shift is to realise that safety happens through neighbourhood relatedness
focus on identifying neighbourhood assets
create occasions for citizens to know each other through cleanup campaigns etc
power of connector people – recognise them as such

Development and the Local Economy

factions on each side – developers and social activists
gentrification re young pros incoming
low trust on each side
needs new convo with developers talking compassionately about those on the margin and activists recognising that they need the developers wealth
build relatedness between groups
small businesses as growth engine that is kind to community
community needs healthy local economy where people live, work & shop
those on the margin need to become economically self-sufficient
impact of big shops taking money from small biz

Family Well-Being and Human Services

people & families as pools of gifts and capacities not a series of needs and capacities
we still call people who seek help “cases”, people who help them “caseworkers” – dehumanises people
labels we use to classify people
may be we need to classify people’s gifts – currently only have crude positive labels
e.g. connector, knows everyone in neighbourhood, street-level entrepreneur, compassion for those in need etc
shift is to focus on gifts/capacities

Health Care

ranks high in conventional wisdom re how transformation occurs
not working well in States
but all workers are usually highly-motivated, most agree the system is broken
we are asking wrong qs
could start with who is responsible for our health
need to increasingly focus on health, prevention rather than cure
people with a sense of belonging are healthier and live longer
as with all big qs there are small local solutions happening
e.g. person who is focus of multiple services from social worker, health care etc all get together with that one person, decisions taken covering all those inputs with desired outcomes
what contribution am I prepared to make towards my own health? what am I refusing to do?

community and belonging are combination of context & initiating a transforming convo

Summary: The Social Architecture of Building Community

My notes from the book

[ This last section of the book is simply a summary of the rest of the book and as such I have not repeated any of the notes I have taken through the book. ]

Pages

Monday, October 28, 2019

Book: “Community: The Structure of Belonging”; Peter Block

Why this book?

My reading of the book

My overall assessment and response to the book

Welcome, The Second Edition

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

The Second Edition

My notes from the book

The importance of belonging

Part 1: The Fabric of CommunityChapter 1: Insights Into Transformation

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

The McKnight Insights: Gifts, Associational Life and Power

The Erhard Insights: The Power of Language, Context, and Possibility

The Putnam Insights: Social Capital and the Well-Being of Community

The Alexander Insights: Aliveness, Wholeness & Unfolding

The (Peter) Koestenbaum Insights: Paradox, Freedom and Accountability

The Insights of Large Group Methodology: Designing for the Experience of Community

The Bornstein-Cohen Insights: Scale, Speed and Emergent Design

Chapter 2: Shifting the Context for Community

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

Principles of Strategy

The Futility Context: Community as a Problem to be Solved

The Limitations of Symptoms

Getting Our Story About Story Straight

Chapter 3: The Stuck Community

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

Marketing Fear and Fault

Ramping Up Laws and Oversight

Romanticising Leadership

Marginalising Possibility

Devaluing Associational Life

Reinforcing Self-Interest and Isolation

The Media

Chapter 4: The Restorative Community

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

Lessons from Restorative Justice

Community as Conversation

The Shift

Chapter 5: Taking Back Our Projections

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

Projection and Labelling

Taking Back The Projection

Chapter 6: The Inversion Into Citizen

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

The Meaning of Citizenship

The Inversion of Cause

The Utility of this Inversion

A Word About Accountability

Chosen Accountability, Commitment and the Use of Force

Chapter 7: The Transforming Community

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

Choosing Possibility Over Problem-Solving

Expanding Our Idea Of Action

Part 2: The Alchemy of Belonging

My notes from the book

Chapter 8: Leadership is Convening

My research and application notes from the book

Book Club Questions

My notes from the book

Engagement Is The Point

The Art of Convening

The Convening Capacity of Elected Officials

Part 1: The Fabric of Community
Chapter 1: Insights Into Transformation